As I talked about last time, I’ve questioned myself in the moment more times than I can count. I’m not averse to that. I’ll have a moment, and wonder, why did I work so hard to be here facing defeat?

When we’re experiencing something that is difficult, our emotions can take over and our emotions make us feel frustrated, sad, depressed, uncomfortable. And these emotions become the experience for us.

And if you could somehow take a step outside of the situation to look at it as if you’re looking at someone else’s life though, it would be easier to not be blinded by the emotions. We would breathe easier. We would understand more clearly…

But it’s just not the case because our brains don’t work like that.

Those emotions pumping through us are too intense. So we go through a tough situation and all we do is feel all the feelings — the despair, the hurt, the heartbreak. It doesn’t matter if you’re bowling bad, having a bad tournament or doing anything else in your life that matters to you. There’s going to be times when your feelings will take over and they won’t always be positive.

Those moments are never easy but they are the key to the dream because this is when you get to face the decision. In that moment of struggle, you get to choose, am I going to power through this to get to the other side? Or am I going to give up?

Many people give up in those moments. They don’t like that feeling and don’t want to continue to do something that makes them feel bad. They want to only feel good.

But you don’t get to the end, without those emotions, the heartbreak, the sadness, the doubting yourself. You don’t get to the end goal skipping past all that. No one does.

You don’t get the success without the struggle.

And if you’ve got grit, you face those questions and continue to pick up the pieces and move on anyway. And you get even stronger. It shows you what you’re made of as a person.

So, what do I do to navigate those moments? I just dig into those emotions, accept them, let them pass through me and just trust. I trust myself and trust the process. If you truly tap into that trust within yourself, you’ll get to where you’re meant to be.

But if you don’t trust the process, it could break you down.

That is how I interpret grit. It is the ability to trust and pick yourself up in the most difficult moment. It’s the ability to just keep showing up, to stay focused on whatever dream or goal. And to keep showing up every single day better, to commit to not just going through the motions. That is what grit isn’t  — only going through the motions or avoiding the emotions. Grit is taking action, letting all the emotions in and doing what is hard. Grit is not doing something easier or more enjoyable to avoid the work.

There’s only a handful of world champions because in those moments of defeat and heartache when they’re literally crying and confused, instead of letting those emotions move them in a negative direction or making them quit, they persevere and acknowledge how they’re feeling, and then they figure out how to move through the emotions to focus on what’s next.

So many people want to cut corners. They want to skip ahead. They see us winning on TV and they think that this is what it always is. They don’t realize that we have a story, and that the story wasn’t always that positive, that there were a lot of dips in the story. There’s no corner that you can cut. You have to continue to put yourself out there, pick yourself up when things aren’t going well, feel the feels and still consistently show up. If you want to be the best in anything, do all the things — find the resources, surround yourself with the right people, even when it is tough.

I know, it‘s hard to believe that the best of the best in anything have those lows and those feelings because they’re not part of the highlight reel posted on Instagram.

So that’s what I’m here to teach. I’m here to teach that if you want to get to the end goal, persevering through the really hard times and the gut-wrenching emotions is the only path.

When I took an honest look back, reflecting on the highs and the lows in my career, I so clearly remember how hard those moments were. But then I also get chills just thinking about some of them because I can now see how they led me to my wins. They’re what built me. They’re why I say I’m made of grit.

It’s grit that got me here now.

Those moments are the golden road that’ll lead you where you really want to end up.

It’s important for people who want to succeed in anything to realize that it is in those moments, the ones that are the most heartbreaking, that you learn what you’re made of.

Don’t let yourself get defeated in those moments. You get to choose how good you want to be. That is so empowering but I think people miss that connection because they don’t see the entire story.

I also tell people, it’s not just about bowling though. It truly is about life. If you want to write a book or if you want to do any number of things, it doesn’t matter.

Grit applies to everything. It will get you anywhere you want to go.

Next time, I’ll tell you about two of my grittiest moments I haven’t talked much about yet, ones I’m actually so thankful to have experienced because they directly led me to my success. 

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