Today, I turn 40. And I’m not mad about it.

I feel like the first 40 years of your life are like school, they’re the learning. And then the next 40 are the implementation years, the execution of the things that the first 40 taught you. I’ve felt all the feelings along the way — the sadness, the disappointment, the confusion, the happiness, the joy, the success, the relief and had all of these experiences. All of the experiences and feelings have led me through lessons. I feel like I’ve found all that I need and that now I need to continue to live what I’ve learned. Now I have a cheat sheet, like a Cliffs Notes of “what you need to know in life.”  So for the next 40, I can look back at it. In that way, it really does make me excited for the future, knowing what I know now.

I think most people have a big birthday and they feel bad, like they’ve missed something. They feel negative, like they’re losing their life, that it’s going too fast. They have regrets. But for me, I’ve never been weird about my age. I don’t have any negative feelings turning 40 because I am so proud of how intentional I’ve lived these 40 years. It hasn’t been perfect, but those imperfect moments have given me even more clarity and they are what I need to live even more intentionally, to focus on the moment, to be impactful, to make a difference.

That’s not to say I’m not going to learn things in the next 40 years. There’s certainly going to be a lot of things that are different about my next 40. But when you live intentionally, these lessons can positively affect the future. Every lesson is a chance at a new beginning. A reset button, per se.

I’m really taking a look at my life this week and asking myself, what have I learned that will allow me to live the next 40 years richer and more intentionally?

I feel like when you turn a monumental age, it’s a really good time to reflect on the last decade, the last two decades, the last three decades. You can use that time to reflect back on your life and figure out who you are, and why and how have you become this person? What has led you to who you are and the decisions that you have made in your life? Then you can really take the time to sit with that and say, “okay, these are the experiences that made me who I am.”

There shouldn’t be any reason to say things like, “my life just isn’t good right now.” People often say this as if it’s someone else’s fault and it’s not. I think people lose the sense that they have control over their own lives and their own decisions and then they feel stuck, that they can’t move or change their reality because they don’t know how.

YOU have control over your life. That’s the cool thing about it! It is YOURS! You get to make the choices. You control the narrative going forward. No one else does. And that’s really empowering. I think that most people don’t make that connection.

I feel that if people would just take a second to think about that when they turn 30, 40, 50, or even 25, they wouldn’t feel so bad and would see another year as an opportunity instead…  

We can always start new. Our lives aren’t going to be perfect. We will mess up. We will make mistakes. But all that messing up leads us to recognize who we’re supposed to be, who we can choose to be. We don’t have to look back at decisions that we made that were not the best decisions with guilt. We can look at any of it and just decisively say, “I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m going to make decisions to become who I want to be, not who I was in that moment.” I think it’s important to just have the sense to acknowledge that and to be honest — with yourself. Be accountable. Most people today are not very accountable- and they want to blame others for anything and everything, instead of owning it themselves. Be you. Be true. 100% of the time. Own it.

You can feel bad or you can choose instead to reflect on how those experiences shaped who you are in that moment and then face the new chapter asking, “what’s next for me?”

For me turning 40, I’m excited about what is to come. I am so proud of my 40 years. All of it — the good and the bad, the lessons. And I can’t wait for the next chapter! I

If my first 40 were the “learning lessons” and I was able to accomplish what I did in those 40 years, just imagine what the next 40 could bring. How could it not be more enriching, more focused and more impactful? There are so many more things that I’m capable of that I haven’t accomplished yet.

Some people also face birthdays worried that they’re not doing “enough” in their lives. They don’t realize that they have control over that too. Besides, it’s subjective. Who’s to judge what’s enough anyway? Only you. And if you are living an intentional life and you’re doing what you can with what you have, it’s enough. No one else gets to define that for you. Once again, that’s something in your power.

To me, “enough” is when I am living in an intentional way that at the end of the day makes me proud or happy. My questions actually aren’t, “am I enough? Have I done enough?” I ask myself, “what do I have and what have I done with what I have? And am I happy with that?” And that’s how I move forward each day. 

And I can tell you I am so beyond happy with who I am in this moment, what I have done with what I have, the intentions I have set and the iteration of myself I am becoming for this next chapter in my life. 

So I say this to the next 40 years of my life: BRING IT.

How are you becoming you?