I have been immersing myself in youth bowling lately. Besides the work I do on the Elite Youth Tour, I also spent some time recently at the Indiana State High School Championships, thanks to Storm. Oh! And three of my Elite Youth Tour stars were on TV doing what they do best… inspiring others and representing like a boss.

I have had a lot of time to reflect on my feelings surrounding these extraordinary youth bowlers and I felt compelled to write a letter. To them. 

Dear Competitive Youth Bowler,

You probably think it’s weird I’m writing you a letter. Who even does that anymore? But I have a lot of things to say and I thought I could best relay it all in a letter form. 

So, here goes. 

I want you to think in your mind of someone you really look up to on the lanes. Maybe they have done something that you want to do or you admire their tenacity and professionalism. How does watching them succeed make you feel? How do you feel when you see them struggle? Now, I want you to realize the same admiration that you have for that person – those same feelings and emotions –  are actually how someone else feels about you. 

Yes. People admire YOU. 

So that brings me to my very first big point. You have a big responsibility. There are eyes on you and I mean that in the least creepy way possible. Chances are high that there is a younger bowler out there who is looking up to you. Who views you with that same admiration. 

So what does this responsibility entail? 

Well, for sure it means that you have to keep your emotions in check. I know it’s hard sometimes to deal with the highs and lows of competition but in those moments when things aren’t going your way, you HAVE to keep it together. If not for anything else, for them. They are watching and modeling their behavior off of you. However you show up in the situation, you are telling them that it’s ok to behave like that as well. 

The next point I wanted to make in this letter has to do with what I witnessed in the girls’ match of the PBA Jr that was on tv. While I watched the PBA Jr show and beamed with pride, I realized something. Jillian Martin and Kayla Starr were competing against each other and yet, they looked like they were having so much fun! 

Wait, what? You can be competitive and still enjoy what you’re doing? YES. 

Their smiles lit up my tv so not only was I proud that they qualified for the TV broadcast —amongst so many talented youth bowlers — but I was also so proud of how they competed. They wanted to win. But they also understood why they even started bowling in the first place. The truth is that the better you get, the harder that is.

The harder it is to remain grounded in why you love your sport. 

When we are competitive, and we start proving ourselves to the bowling world something happens that makes everything more difficult. Expectations are formed and we develop this weird weight on our shoulders. No one put it there. But it’s there. It could be from thinking about what OTHER people think of us. It could be because we think people care about our successes and failures WAY more than they actually do. Somehow that weight is there on our shoulders. 

So what happens when this expectation thing sits on your shoulders and weighs you down? You have less fun. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Take Jillian and Kayla for example. They had a lot of expectations on them. They are two of the best youth bowlers in the country. If they would have stopped to think about the grandioseness of it all (Is that a word? If it isn’t.. I’m still going with that to describe this situation) then they would have felt the weight. 

You know what they did instead? They. Soaked. It. All. In. They enjoyed the moment. The enjoyed competing against each other. They smiled the biggest and brightest smiles I have ever seen on a bowling TV show! They laughed. They struck. They did all the things right. In a situation where it would have been so easy to become paralyzed by the gravity of the situation, their love of bowling shone through so bright. 

You have a responsibility now, one that you never asked for. People are watching you and it’s important to decide who you are going to show up as. But also don’t let the responsibility weigh you down. I want you to know that whoever it is that you are, when you’re authentic, it’s enough. Some will love you. Many will not. Many will be inspired by you. Some will try to break you down. But above everything, it’s most important to be completely and unapologetically authentic. If you are awkward and goofy – embrace that. If you are quiet and introverted – be that.

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. That’s your story to tell.

Lead from the heart and you will do great things. 

With love and light,

Diandra