This past week was a VERY emotional one for me.

How do we re-center when faced with a heartbreaking tragedy? How do we move on?

Now that I’ve had a moment to step back and process what I’m experiencing, I’ve been able to think about that a bit this week.

If how we experience the people in our lives was just surface level, it sure would be so much easier to move on. That’s how it is for some people. But, of course, I don’t live life on the surface. My heart doesn’t beat that way. It’s just not the reality of how I want to live my life.

I feel my feelings. I give myself permission to take as long as I need to feel what I’m feeling – or to cry. And to not be apologetic about it. In fact, I was sitting on my back patio couch the other day, just crying by myself and thinking about how special it is to feel such hurt when somebody dies. We often don’t realize the depth of the love that we feel for other people. Until they are gone. The love that I felt for Dr. Jaye, I don’t even know if I realized how deep it was.

The truth is that we don’t always directly acknowledge the love we hold for people. It’s just sort of there. But hard weeks like this really make you want to become even more intentional about how you express what you feel. It reminds you not to take people for granted. It makes you more grateful, more conscious, more intentional.

A common theme throughout Dr. Weem’s gratitude service last weekend was living life with intention. Everyone who gave a eulogy at his memorial service – from his best friend and his cousin to his daughter – spoke on this idea. He was so intentional. He was intentional with every moment that he spent with every person. He didn’t take moments with people for granted. He was also very present and intentional with whatever he was involved in doing. Being intentional with simply the way that he lived. Everybody saw and felt that.

To have been one of the people whose life intersected with his makes me truly so grateful. I feel like we were so very similar, cut from the same cloth – just a decade apart.

The silver lining I see in the past week is that death also brings people together. You reach out to people in your circle more outwardly. It also makes you grateful for all the people that are really close to you in your circle. And this bowling community is a circle full of amazing people. It has continued to prove again and again how unbelievably strong and supportive it is. I truly cannot say enough how grateful I am for it and everyone in it. I am grateful for every single person who is a part of EYT in any way.

A dad from my EYT reached out a few days ago, and I asked him if I could share what he wrote. It really represents how in death, the process of mourning reminds us to be intentional by reconnecting us with feelings of gratitude.

“Great to be with you and John and our bowling family today to honor and mourn and celebrate Jaye’s legacy. Today, I felt so much gratitude for Jaye. So much joy for who he was and what he meant in our lives and our bowling community. It’s unique and I thank you, Diandra, for how much you have nurtured that. You carry the torch forward in so many ways. Thank you, dear friend. We are so grateful for you.”

Another EYT bowler’s dad, whose son was on Madden’s nationals team, also reached out with this message.

“I just wanted to thank you for making last week the best it could be. You’re amazing, making sure EYT ran successfully and supporting Dr. Jaye’’s service, all while managing everyone’s expectations. It takes superhuman abilities that you possess. Keep leading by example. It’s been a trying week for many of us. I’m glad we have so many memories of Jaye and each other to share.”

The loss of my dear friend, Dr. Weems, bluntly reminded me that life’s not forever. It’s easy to forget that and take our days, and the people and experience in them, for granted. But we have a choice. We can choose instead to be more present every day. More intentional. More grateful.

The way I’m moving forward from this experience is by expressing gratitude to people as often as I can. Just as Dr. Jaye did.

I’m grateful for you reading this.

I’m also so grateful for, and touched by, all the donations that are coming in Dr. Weems’ name. We will be putting it toward a special tribute tournament in his honor during the next year, with special scholarships and awards.

And if you’re still reading this to the end, do me a favor. Send a friend or family member a quick text to just tell them you are grateful for them. You know those special people in your life that you truly love? Take a moment right now, and shoot them that text to remind them what they mean to you.