Last weekend was Madden’s 13th birthday, and this week’s post is a story about problem-solving. First of all, WHAT!? Madden is 13?? Well, that went fast.

The rule in our house is that you have to be 13 to get a cell phone. I realize that most kids his age have one, but I also understand what can happen when you get that hardware into your hands. There’s a risk of losing social skills, and suddenly you can skip working through hard things because you get used to googling the immediate answer… and getting that quick hit of dopamine. So, I held off as long as I possibly could. 

So, the day was finally here. The day I would go to the store to buy the blue iPhone that he wanted.

Picture this: a seemingly simple task of picking up an Apple iPhone turns into a day-long adventure (and test) of patience and determination. Rather than it being a quick stop, I spent the remainder of the day embarking on a problem-solving mission to get him the right phone.

The outcome of the day really made it so clear to me that approaching these situations with the right attitude makes all the difference.

The goal of the day was to not only pick up a phone but also to transfer Madden’s watch number to his new phone. (I tried to talk him into a new number but he was very passionate about keeping his watch number that “everybody” had.) After questioning how many possible people could be in his contact list, I realized that wasn’t the point. He wanted the same number and I respect that. So, that was my goal going in. 

A call to my carrier’s customer service assured me that this was possible, simply requiring an upgrading of the associated line. When the phone store opened, though, they didn’t have the model phone and color I wanted. So, I was directed to the Apple store next door.

There, everything began proceeding smoothly. I told them the model and color I needed. They brought one from the back and began to activate the number on the phone. However, the activation wouldn’t process. The customer care girls kept trying, but something seemed to be blocking it from processing. So, from the store, I called Apple support. The person on the line identified the issue as related to the associated IMEI numbers and was able to resolve it.

An hour and a half after stopping to pick up Madden’s phone, I thought the mission had been a success. Until I opened the box and discovered they had given me the wrong color phone.

When faced with a problem like this, your first instinct might be to point fingers. But instead, I’d rather focus on solutions.

My thinking was: How are we going to fix this?

I know that mistakes happen. I wasn’t angry. The girl had made a simple mistake, something that was probably easy to do. I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. I merely said, Let’s just fix this. Let’s swap this for the phone I came in here for.  

One would imagine this to be an easy thing to resolve. Just refund the wrong phone, transferring the number to the correct phone. That wasn’t the case. I’ll spare you all the technical details, but there was another issue with the IMEI association. After another hour and a half, and multiple failed attempts to associate the right phone, a manager arrived and told me it might take up to 72 hours to process the reversal on the first phone. Essentially, he told me I should come back in a few days to pick up and process the new phone..

Um. No.  And this is when I became a bit frustrated.

My exact response was, “My son is turning 13, and I’ve made him wait until now to get a cell phone. He thinks I’m picking him up from school today with his new phone. I’m not leaving without this phone.”

My frustration wasn’t about the mistake itself. Rather, it was with the unwillingness to find a solution. And I realized that most people want to shy away from problems, leaving them for someone else to solve. Few actually want to dive headfirst into working toward solutions.

I should also add the girl who had made the mistake was really great. She was apologetic, and she (along with her direct supervisor) stuck with me, trying to figure it out. They didn’t give up. I appreciated that. But the other guy (their manager) just kept coming back to tell me it wasn’t possible, pointing the finger at the carrier’s processing time and saying we had to “wait it out.” Yet, when I called the carrier, they said the issue didn’t appear to be on their side either. The two sides kept deflecting and I kept trying not to roll my eyes.

So here’s what I did: I kept going.

The idea was simple, really—we’ll solve this problem before I leave this store, even if it takes hours. I was not going to leave that store without an activated new iPhone in the right color, with the right number.

And the magic happens when you take ownership of a problem instead of passing the buck when you focus on exploring possibilities until you find a solution.

I kept thinking, “There’s got to be a way, so let’s find it.” This is where my “everything is figure-outable” thinking comes in.

Two additional hours in the Apple store and no one we’d talked to yet had the answer. That made me think we’re just not talking to the right person yet. Then, I remembered that I had an email for the very first tech support guy I had spoken with that day and could try him. He seemed especially knowledgeable about how IMEI works, so I tried emailing him. He called me back right away and immediately fixed the problem, activating the corrected phone. Just like that.  

Five hours after I first arrived to pick up the phone, I had a working phone in my hand – in the right color, with the right number.

I told the girls I appreciated them sticking with me as we tried to figure it out, even while the other guy dismissed it as impossible. I said the takeaway is to just stay committed to finding the solution – even if it takes five hours. Because I knew there would be a way.

Problem-solving really is a mindset and approach to life, more than anything…

I left the store and went directly to pick up my kids from school, running a few minutes late as a result. I told them that I had literally spent the entire day at the store. Of course, Madden said he would have been happy with any phone, any color. But I wanted to do right by him on his 13th birthday.

So, the next time you encounter a problem like this, remember you have a choice in how you face it. You can be someone who stays focused on finding the solution, or you can choose to deflect and pass the buck. Which one will you be?