I can’t count the number of times I’ve told someone, “focus on the process” and “focus on what you can control.” These phrases have sort of become my personal mantra that I am always repeating to other bowlers, my kids, and anyone I’m mentoring. I say to stay in the present, with your focus on what is directly in front of you and where you are in this moment.

I explain that where your mind is in the moment is also where anyone’s greatest power is. And focusing on immediate details is more important than anything out of your sight line.

My experience this past couple of weeks is really bringing me back to this core message.

What am I looking at right now? What is in front of me? 

As I write this, I am in the car with my family – on a two-day road trip.

As much as the past couple of weeks have forced some pauses and pivots, it really brought my top priority in life back into very direct focus.

My family.

At the very top of my list of priorities is family. It always has been. However, we often think we have priorities in complete focus until something else gives us pause and brings it into even more explicit focus. That is what I’m experiencing first-hand this week.

And what is within my control at this moment?

My appreciation for moments of family togetherness.

What are we able to do now that we literally need to move a bit more slowly? What are we able to do when we slow down that we aren’t able to do when we are speeding along in our lives?

Drive partway across the country as a family.   

We are literally taking the slow route to a family wedding this week. It’s not possible for Madden to fly with the head trauma he endured because of cabin pressure. So, we canceled our flights, and instead of taking a quick flight, we’ve chosen to turn the trip to the East Coast into a few-day-long family road trip. In total, we’ll all be in the car together for almost 15 hours – each way.

Last night, we left at 7:30pm and there were immediately some laughable moments – like when John took a few wrong turns on the way out of the city. Instead of getting to the highway right away, we circled around the city for a bit – and began joking that we were just driving to find a hotel.

I cannot remember the last time we took a long road trip like this as a family. Oh, well, I can. Never. Because this is literally the longest drive of my life. 

John drove last night longer than expected. He was thinking we could get a four or maybe five-hour start to our trip. He ended up driving almost half of the way to Rhode Island! Another first was when we decided to find a hotel for the night, we ran into issues finding one (like the first five hotels I called were fully booked.) 

So there we were, on the peaceful dark roads of Pennsylvania, seeking a safe hotel to stay for a few hours. We finally found one in Erie, PA – at 3 am. We woke the kids in the back seat, and they stumbled their way into our room and to bed.

As long as the drives in this trip have been, I have really been taking advantage of this time. 

When do we ever spend that long together as a family in such close quarters? Rarely ever. To me, a road trip is even better than being in the same room for a few hours. In a big room, it’s still possible to be distracted, and you might not be really paying attention to where you are or the other people in the room.

Two days in the car with my family is valuable, undistracted time.

I won’t have my kids home forever, and they’re not always going to be able to be all together for a road trip. So, moments like this are actually really precious.

This past week has also really confirmed yet again that how we react to events and situations is a choice.

I am not going to get wrapped up in what we can’t control right now.

I could be focusing on what we can’t do at the moment. Sure, we can’t take a flight. We’re told we need to rest and can’t overly exert ourselves.

But what CAN we do? Right now, I’m choosing to entirely focus on that.

Right now, we can take a long, slow drive together as a family. And amid our fast-paced lives, THAT is actually a very welcome surprise plot twist this month.