Ask any mom about December, and they will likely tell you the same thing. It’s busy. Like, really busy. It’s full of navigating parties – for things like cookie-making to ornaments parties- and holiday events, decorating, and giftsy and, well, all. the. things. 

It can be overwhelming. 

And I’m here to say that we are all missing the point. I’M MISSING the point.

I’m so busy planning, trying to knock out my to-do list, and not wanting to fall behind that I’m sort of missing what’s going on right now. 

Then I intentionally remind myself of what it’s all for.

This time of year isn’t just about gifts and getting ahead of to-do lists. 

With this holiday season looking different, I’ve been thinking about this lately. My mom and dad are staying with us. For the first time ever, they will be with us at our house every day through the holidays. The kids will also be off school for two weeks. It might feel like a lot of people here in our place, but then we remind ourselves that this is a special season together that we will remember forever.

We have a lot to be grateful for, and we’re especially thankful to have my dad here with us as he heals.

So, what are the holidays really about when we peel back all of the layers of it?

Moments together and making core memories.

Once the actual holidays hit this year, we don’t have many plans. Our plan is really just to enjoy the downtime and to spend this time together. It always comes back to this idea of slowing things down and appreciating what you have. We’re not going to rush around and try to add things and experiences into our life at the expense of missing all the things we have right here and now.

The other day, my dad asked me what day it was because he knew Hanukkah was coming up. I wasn’t specifically raised Jewish, but my father is Jewish. So he always made sure to share an awareness of his traditions with us. I have very detailed core memories of sitting at our kitchen counter growing up, lighting the menorah with my dad and my sister.

That same, and now very old, menorah is one of the most cherished possessions in my house. It’s actually hard to put into words how special it is. When a candle is lit and the wax melts onto the menorah, those layers stay there. The wax isn’t meant to be cleaned off. So, as the years go by, every time we light the candles, it just adds layers and layers of wax – and memories. 

Memories of me giggling as a kid sitting on top of the orange kitchen countertop with my sister. Memories of me as a pre teen, and as a teen, and then the last menorah lighting before I’d go off to college. So many memories are wrapped into and around that menorah. Now memories of my kids with my dad lighting it. 

Back when we were watching the old videos that we digitized, one of the videos was of my dad when he was really young. And when I saw that, I felt a rush of emotion. I was like, “is that THE menorah?”

Before seeing that video, I had always just assumed that my dad bought that menorah at some point when we were children. But it was actually passed down to him from someone in his family. That adds so much more meaning to it. Now that I am sharing that menorah experience with my kids, it’s a great metaphor for what we’re doing this holiday season – and Hanukkah and Christmas. We’re layering on another year of memories to be preserved. 

Perhaps, to me – it is also symbolic of slowing down and taking it all in.

Hanukkah starts today. And as we’re lighting those candles, we’re grounding ourselves in this reminder of what it is truly about. 

It’s a little bit scary how fast time goes. So it’s the time to be intentional about appreciating the things that we have, the time that we have together, and where we are in our life.

If you’re worried about what’s next and rushing through your holiday to-do lists, you might just miss out on the point of it all. 

What is symbolic in your life that brings you back to togetherness and core memories?