The beginning of last week, I was in a bit of a daze. At first, I didn’t understand why. Then I realized it was from processing heavy emotions for a few days. I felt a lot of emotions –  right in my heart. And sitting with all of those emotions was exhausting me.

Monday I dropped the kids off for their first day at school, Jersey in fifth grade and Madden as a freshman at a new school. Afterwards, I sat in my car alone collecting my thoughts to put together my Instagram posts. Writing my Instagram caption, tears started flowing. For Madden, it’s a new chapter. So many feelings came up. Excitement for his journey at a new school alongside sadness knowing that the next new school Madden will ever go to will be college. That made me think about how he is so much closer now to becoming an adult and moving away from us.

The next day was Madden’s 14th birthday, and he asked me to send him a photo of every year of his life so that he could post it on his Instagram. Looking through all those old photos just compounded all of my emotions. Later in the day, I told my husband John that I was feeling a bit off and in a bit of low-energy funk. With me, I don’t pretend. I tell it like it is, and what you see is what you get.

After school, we all went to Jimmy John’s for Madden’s birthday. It’s his favorite restaurant at the moment. (Full disclosure: We don’t love the choice but the choice was Madden’s to make.) John suggested we go get ice cream for dessert at a place up the block. It was a record breaking hot day in Chicago. Yet, ironically, no one but John seemed inspired by the idea. But John insisted so we all went along with it. Normally, we do love the place as it has really interesting Japanese-inspired flavors.

As I sat by the window eating my ice cream, I was half zoned and talking to Jersey when something so unexpected happened that completely shifted how I was feeling and uplifted my spirit.

Someone at the counter was ordering but turned around to us to ask, “what flavors did you guys get? Would you recommend any of them?” I looked up to answer, even opened my mouth to begin answering, and then – stopped. I was shocked.

I think I almost dropped what remained of my ice cream as I said, “wait… Whaaaat!?!”

My heart knew what – or rather who – I was seeing and hearing. But my brain was asking, “how is that possible?” It took my brain a moment to process. It was a weirdly incomprehensible situation for it.

Standing directly in front of me at this ice cream shop, asking me this innocent question, was my long-time writing coach. Since we began working together four years ago, we have had a video chat every week. Yes, I did say… Every. Single. Week.

Week after week, we talk about life and lessons, on and off the lanes. The insights and lessons you’ve now been reading here for the past four years have all emerged from those weekly chats.

But we were always on the other side of our screens. We had never met in person, as she lives on the west coast – of Canada. She travels a lot though, as do I, and we would often casually say, “one day, we were going to meet in person.” But we just hadn’t ever fleshed out a plan to make that happen.

So, she took it upon herself to secretly coordinate with my husband John – to pull off a surprise visit. That’s why John had insisted on ice cream after Jimmy John’s. It is also why John suggested we sit down and enjoy the ice cream, rather than hastily drive off with it. That had been where she was going to casually wander in for the surprise.

Now, I also have to say, I am not very easily surprised. Yet, this really took me by surprise. And it was…The. Best. Surprise. All of it. And so perfectly executed. I am still a bit in awe of it, replaying that moment in my mind. I sooo wasn’t expecting it. I was completely oblivious and didn’t see any of it coming either.

As I began to learn more details behind the surprise, it became clear just how much effort she had put into coordinating and setting up this moment – and everything about this week. She genuinely wanted to connect with me, my family and my life here. To make sure I had calendar time available while she was here, she even booked afternoon bowling lessons via an alias. And John looped a couple of our friends into her plan – and they helped by putting a “friends dinner” on the calendar one night. That evening became an epic friends and family rooftop dinner at a friend’s place, overlooking the Chicago River.    

She could have easily just told me she was coming to town. We would have arranged something together, and that could have been awesome too. But, instead, and amazingly, she contacted John through Instagram over a year ago – and she literally spent the last year planning all of these details, and getting the timing right. She explained that the reason she decided on a surprise was that she knows I love surprises but that I am always the one surprising others and never the one being surprised.  

I found Tracy through an entrepreneurial network, back when I first built Beyond the Lanes in 2020. I saw that she was a storyteller and helped people share their stories. And I wanted to start writing regularly and sharing all the lessons and thoughts I always have in my mind. I really wanted to put effort and energy into writing and create the habit of a blog and newsletter. But I needed help pulling out those insights from my life and game, as well as how to organize them within regular writing.

Over time, Tracy became more than just my coach. She became a friend. I always told her, “you know, I talk to you more than I talk to some of my best friends.”

It’s rare to talk to someone every week. Life can be busy, and even really close friends rarely chat that regularly.  

When I saw her in real life for the first time, it was interesting how quickly my heart reacted. It didn’t even take it half a second to realize I was looking at and hearing my friend – even though we had always spoken over Zoom calls.

Just as importantly, in that split second, I went from feeling in that sort of emotional funk to feeling exhilarated and revived. It turned my day and week around. I was so excited that she was in Chicago. It was exactly what I needed to shift how I was feeling.

That’s truly how quickly, easily and fully your energy can shift.

When you feel like you’re in an emotional funk for whatever reason, you can do something that changes everything and shifts you. Shifting that low energy is within your control. Anything that gets your blood pumping can quickly resuscitate you and lift your energy level and mood. That’s why some people love going for a run. You could also choose something fun and adrenalin-based like paintball or ax throwing. Why not, right?

You just have to be open to a positive shift. And it really can happen that quickly.

So many people live with a “woe is me” attitude when they’re feeling low. But that mindset will just attract more of what makes you feel that way. Instead, be willing to do what it takes to get out of that feeling. You can feel the feelings. I think it’s important to acknowledge your true feelings – but don’t commit yourself to keeping those feelings. Allow them to shift.

Feelings are fleeting. And you have the power to change them up.

For me, this week was the perfect reminder that when you remain open and don’t let your short-lived feelings define you, everything can change in an instant.