2021’s Top 20

by | Dec 28, 2021 | 0 comments

As we’re in the last week of the year, I decided to reflect on some of the things I’ve written about this year that seem to have really resonated with you, based on your responses.

Here’s a roundup of the top 20, in no particular order.

1. You Belong Here
https://beyondthelanes.com/the-voice-that-whispers-you-do-belong-here/

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We just have to trust that we belong. One block, one day, or one tour season can never define us. Just keep showing up, no matter what. I could bowl 12 games that are the best I’ve ever bowled, and I could be in first, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best there. I can also bowl 12 games poorly, not making the cut, and that doesn’t make me the worst. Neither case defines me or means that’s where my level is. It’s just how I bowled in that moment. There are so many factors from one game to the next. So we just have to keep consistent by showing up, knowing we are where we are meant to be and that we belong.

2. Good Vibes + Patience for the Win

https://beyondthelanes.com/good-vibes-patience/

So many people want to skip ahead to the wins. You want it to be over in your favor. But if you try to speed things up, that never works. I’ve learned to just approach the game, and the struggles, with patience and that’s how things are going to begin to roll in my favor. Instead of trying to feel like I needed to be perfect every moment on the lane, and understand everything perfectly, I always give myself space to just feel my best in that moment. To feel positive energy instead of letting in any negative vibes. By feeling positive and calm, you attract more of that really good energy.

 3. For the Joy of Bowling
https://beyondthelanes.com/for-the-joy-of-bowling/

My grandma Betty gave my sister and me our first bowling balls. And she would take us to league on Saturday mornings. She bowled for the love of bowling. She had no intent behind that other than she just loved socializing and bowling. And she was always happy despite a lot of health problems that she had to battle throughout her life. She showed me that even during hard times, there’s always space for joy and optimism. More than ever, I’m trying to embrace that optimism and joy for life my grandma Betty showed me.

 4. Fate. And French Fries
https://beyondthelanes.com/fate-and-french-fries/

The universe spoke to me with French fries, and I still listened! I can remember it in such vivid detail, even though at the moment I had no idea why it was happening. It was like the universe beamed a light on this guy eating French fries. I’ll always be grateful for that. I owe the life and family I love to that moment! Life is made up of a whole bunch of small moments. Even though each one is a small moment, if we’re paying attention, that moment can affect so many other things going forward.

 5. No Dream Too Big
https://beyondthelanes.com/no-dream-too-big/

Growing up, I was just crazy enough to actually believe I could become the best in the world at bowling. I’m raising my kids to think the same way, so they can be just crazy enough to believe they can do anything too. Every year since he was three, around his birthday, I have asked Madden what he wants to be when he grows up and he has literally always answered the same thing. “A professional baseball player.” I have shown him that you truly can be as good as YOU CHOOSE to be. With hard work and a whole lot of heart- you truly can get there.

 6. Permission to Rest
https://beyondthelanes.com/permission-to-rest/

You know the old adage. “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” You need to give yourself permission to slow down and check out. Do not feel guilty. When taking care of everyone, there are times in life when you have to take care of yourself, accept help, and not feel bad about it. Sometimes that person who is always offering help to everyone else also sometimes is the one in need of help. When you just give and give and give, and you don’t replenish and charge your battery, you lose battery. And then you’re out of battery.

 7. The Culture of Winning
https://beyondthelanes.com/the-culture-of-winning/

The culture of winning isn’t just walking away as the champion. The culture of winning is setting yourself up before you compete to live your life in a way that is going to put you in the best position to walk away a champion. No matter the actual outcome. It’s your life. It’s the people in your life. It’s the resources that you seek out, your work ethic and it’s your grit. It’s practicing regularly, taking care of your health, being positive, understanding the game, and seeking out other resources and coaches. If your entire focus is on the win, and not the other areas of your life, that’s something you need to look at.

 8. Making Time to Dance
https://beyondthelanes.com/making-time-to-dance/

When we get older, we lose that childlike spirit to seek fun. We get so caught up with work and responsibilities that we lose that childlike spirit we once had. I know I had a really strong one as a kid and it’s so easy for it to become buried by adulting. So my daughter and I have started to dance around the living room. We put on some music and just let go and dance in joy for however long feels good. It’s connecting me with that childlike spirit that we all have deep inside, no matter the age.

 9. A New Type of To-do List
https://beyondthelanes.com/a-new-type-of-todo-list/

The to-do list is the essentials — the pay the bills, and pick up your kids from school, and all the things that you actually do need to do. We also need a Spark List. We need to maintain an actual list of things that light a spark inside us. We need to create the space that allows us to fill up that list with things that inspire us. When you allow yourself space to tune into that inspiration, when you do something that you love, and you’re able to express yourself, something special happens inside you. A spark ignites.

 10. Being Elite
https://beyondthelanes.com/being-elite/

In the beginning, the EYT tour was built on hope. I thought, I hope people come. Now, 10 years later, you can’t watch Junior Gold without seeing those EYT Champions shining bright. More and more people are starting to realize the connection of showing up every month at the EYT and being ranked in the country. Bowlers on the outside looking in say to themselves, “I want to go where they are. I want to make sure that I am as good as them.” They think to themselves, “I’m going to show up and see how I rank amongst them so I can find out how good I really am.” EYT has become a really unique community of people who are interested in bowling and leadership development and it’s such a privilege to watch their journey. I’m so proud of them all

 11. Normalize Nervousness
https://beyondthelanes.com/normalize-nervousness/

When younger bowlers are bowling and they hear that the pros don’t feel nervous (when they clearly do feel nervous just as much of the time), they get the wrong impression — they think there’s something wrong with them for feeling nervous. They’re so afraid to admit it, as if it’s a bad thing that they’re nervous. But the truth is that those pros who say that they’re never nervous are not being honest about their entire experience because every person feels nervous at some point. We need to normalize being nervous. It really is a normal part of the experience.

 12. Intentional Consumption
https://beyondthelanes.com/intentional-consumption/

I am very intentional about the people who surround me in my life. I love the people that I surround myself with because I choose them, and I choose my time with them. Being around them makes me feel good. They have strong positive spirits. They lift me up. But you don’t just become who you’re around. You become how you spend your time too and what you consume… So be careful what you consume, just like you pay attention to the people you are around. If we don’t stop to think about it, we can easily be consuming a lot of things that aren’t necessarily good for us or that start to weigh us down, not just physically but mentally and emotionally.

 13. Prioritizing What Matters
https://beyondthelanes.com/prioritizing-what-matters/

I started reading mental game books when I was 12. I think that’s why I had so much success at a young age, because I was able to understand what is going on inside our minds and can affect our success on the outside. I have seen bowlers who have perfect fundamentals — textbook fundamentals — but never win because of their weak mental game. And I have seen mediocre players who win often because of their strong mental game. It’s super important to realize how much power your understanding of all that gives you in your game. So I am always telling people to read more mental game books. Really educate yourself on how your brain works and how understanding that can work for you.

 14. Season of Change
https://beyondthelanes.com/season-of-change/

During a season of life indoors and warmth and being together, you can draw inspiration from the calm and create space for goal setting. During this season of change, I’m really going with the flow of slowing things down and carving out space to recharge and realign through some different routines so that I can really grow in the following seasons. In this resting time, I can make the space for planting the seeds of my goals that later will be able to blossom because I gave myself this time and space. It’s not that you have to let go of any goals. Rather, it’s allowing yourself enough space to fully appreciate them and think about the seasons in your life.

 15. The Magic of Paying it Forward
https://beyondthelanes.com/the-magic-of-paying-it-forward/

Sometimes we need to be the ones believing in possibilities to be the ones showing others what is possible. Growing up in that small town, the crazy girl focused on becoming a world champion bowler, people would just look at me and say, “who do you think you are? You think you can become the best in the world at anything?” Ultimately, the message I want to pass on to the next generation is, you can truly make a difference in the world and be anything you want to be. Every chance I get, I tell young bowlers, be strong enough and brave enough and courageous enough to be you. Unapologetically. I will continue to keep paying it forward. This sport gave me too much NOT to do that.

 16. Processing the Process
https://beyondthelanes.com/processing-your-process/

Brains have different operating systems. The “left brain” analyzers don’t have my strong intuition. As an intuitive “right-brain” person, I don’t have that ability to analyze like they can. People who are more data-driven are going to have a hard time feeling their way through a game when things don’t go technically as planned. Intuition-based bowlers, like me, are going to have a harder time with the technical decisions. I talked to my psychologist friend, Dr. Weems, to get his perspective on the right-brain left-brain idea as it relates to developing the mental game. First, he pointed out the popular understanding of left and right ‘brainedness’ actually “lacks the full appreciation for the actual collaboration of both left and right hemispheres of the brain.” And he points out that there are strengths to being either left or right brain dominant but either one has a chance to develop a strong mental game.

17. Why Can’t They Just Accept Me for Me?
https://beyondthelanes.com/why-cant-they-just-accept-me-for-who-i-am/I’ve been criticized a lot — for my success, for my kindness, for any number of things. I’ve learned that we can be criticized for just about anything! Not everyone is going to like you. It doesn’t matter who you are, there’s always going to be people who don’t accept you. And that’s okay. You can’t possibly make everyone like you. These are things I now know. I didn’t earlier in my career though. I did call home crying from college because “they” just didn’t like me. “Why don’t they just accept me for who I am?” It’s not until later that I realize that it had NOTHING to do with me and it had EVERYTHING to do with them.

18. Bowling Isn’t a Game of Perfect
https://beyondthelanes.com/bowling-is-not-a-game-of-perfect/

It’s literally time to move on from the idea of perfection if you want your game to really advance. One of the hardest parts of the transition to professional bowling after college, and to bowling for myself, was to shut that over-analysis off. I needed to realize that I didn’t have to be perfect to bowl successfully. I had to realize that no one is out there winning by being perfect. No one. I had to learn to be okay with just throwing a “good enough” shot. Because I realized that seeking perfection actually blocks my progress.

 19. Another Year to Shine
https://beyondthelanes.com/another-year-to-shine/

Our lives aren’t going to be perfect. We will mess up. We will make mistakes. But all that leads us to who we are and helps us become who we choose to be. Instead of worrying about any mistakes, we can choose instead to reflect on how those experiences shaped who we are and then move on, asking ourselves, “what’s next for me?”  YOU have control over your life. You can always even start new. That’s the cool thing about it! It is YOURS! You get to make the choices. You control the narrative going forward. No one else gets to define your life for you.

20. Live Your Legacy
https://beyondthelanes.com/tag/live-your-legacy/It’s easy to take life for granted. We do the same things every day. We see the same people. We take people for granted. We may live authentically and think that we’re living a full life, but then tragedy happens, like losing someone unexpectedly, and it makes us stop to take a look at life… and ask the hard questions. Experiencing loss reminds you to reflect on your own life. So that also made me think, what if we lived that way too, celebrating life while we’re living it? How could you be living every day with a love for living? Living with your legacy in mind.

That’s my roundup of 2021! I can’t wait to keep sharing in 2022. Until then, I’d love to hear which of my 2021 posts resonated most with you.

 

 

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