Before I went off to college I created this amazing story in my mind of how it would go. First time away from home. New friends. New challenges. But the challenges that I imagined in my mind didn’t even scratch the surface of the ones I actually faced. As someone who avoids drama at all costs, drama certainly found me.

When I showed up at college, I realized early on I had a lot to learn. But, I was READY to learn. I was ready to figure out what I needed to do to level up and be the teammate my team needed me to be. 

And I did figure out what it took. I showed up at practice early. I stayed late. I asked questions. So. Many. Questions. If I didn’t understand something, I didn’t pretend that I did. I fell down. I got up. I kept going. 

I feel like the ugly in people comes out when they feel threatened. By ugly I don’t mean aesthetically. I mean, attitude-wise. There were many who didn’t think I really had what it took.

I heard the whispers. The mumbles under their breath.

“Diandra just gets special treatment.” 

At the time, it was hurtful. I didn’t realize then what I do now. That what people said about me had NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with them. People often try to tear others down with criticism, driven by jealousy and comparison, as a reaction to insecurities.

None of it really matters to me anymore. I’ll still notice, of course, but now I just let it go. It is more harmful to hold onto any of that unsupportive energy. 

Before I understood all that though, it really bothered me. I remember trying to figure out what it exactly meant. Special Treatment. What actually is ‘special treatment’? 

Showing up to practice early?

Staying late?

Not taking off my shoes until I fully understood what I was actually doing?

I remember thinking, well, if that’s the definition, I guess I always get special treatment. I did get extra time with my coaches. Because it was time I intentionally carved out for my game. If they were willing to offer the time, I was going to always show up for it. 

But here’s the thing: anyone else could have shown up for it too. Instead of spending time talking about all the “special treatment” I was getting, why didn’t they just follow my lead and show up? 

Show up early. 

Stay late.

I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid of them accusing you of special treatment. Actually, demand special treatment. Coaches want to see initiative. They want to see that you care about getting better. 

I’ve written often about the fact that I’ve been criticized a lot during my career — for my success, for my kindness, for any number of things. Those who are successful will often be criticized for just about anything. Showing up is just another one. It makes others insecure about what they’re not doing.

I’m telling you this not because I hold any grudges for people who have criticized me, but to offer you perspective for when you face this too.

So what did I do every time I heard those unapproving whispers?

Actually, let me tell you what I didn’t do. I didn’t change. I have always given myself permission to just be who I am and to not feel the need to prove anything.

This is who I am. I’m always going to be the one giving my best. My ALL. I don’t cut corners. I put in the work. And I have every right to show up that way. I am also inspired by the people around me who are having successes, who are putting in the work too.

If anyone ever criticizes you for your work ethic and suggests you are getting special treatment when really you are just showing up more than anyone else, don’t change. Instead of worrying or changing anything about you or your game because of how others respond to it, just keep doing you. Keep being you, unapologetically. You have every right to show up for your game on that level. If that level is above and beyond what others are comfortable with seeing, that’s not your problem. It’s theirs.

Show up for yourself and your team.

There were some summers I even intentionally stayed back in Nebraska for the sole purpose to focus on improving my game. I submerged myself in my game, and chose to do so in the very place that I knew would give me the tools to go on to become one of the best in the world. 

Stuff like that doesn’t happen without “special treatment.”