There’s a trap that some people fall into. It’s the “inauthentic trap.” It’s the “trying to appear as something they aren’t trap.”

I see it on social media all the time. People are too concerned with followers that they completely miss the point. The impact is the point.

If you are living an intentional life and you’re doing what you can with what you have, it’s enough.

My questions actually aren’t, “am I enough? Have I done enough?”

I ask myself, “what do I have, and what have I done with what I have? Am I happy with that? Have I had a positive impact?” And that’s how I move forward each day. 

Many young people define enough as “enough people” following them or liking them. I see it the most on Instagram these days. So, they build themselves up in an artificial way. All in a quest to be enough for other people. 

They give over their identity to their followers in a way. They change and become something other than themselves because of the pressure they put on themselves.

My advice, which I repeatedly tell my youth, as well as my own kids, is not to be fake. Be strong enough and brave enough, and courageous enough to be you. And sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

Give yourself permission to go forward with courage, not to be blinded by other people looking at you and watching you. Be yourself in every situation, no matter who or how many people are watching. Besides, people can smell inauthenticity a mile away.

And don’t think how many people watching you defines you in any way.

I’ve never been concerned with how many people follow me online. I don’t care about the number of eyes on me. What I think about is my impact. The quality of what I’m putting out there over the number of eyes watching. I want people to understand that this is who I am. And, if they want to follow my journey, then I’d love to have them. And if I’m too much positivity for them, that’s ok too. 

There’s never any disconnect between how I present myself and who I am at my core. I’m not out here trying to be something I’m not. That’s waaaay too much effort. 

Many people do worry that their numbers are “enough,” though. They want their numbers to go higher and higher, and they let those numbers start to define them. 

Don’t fake who you are in any way in an attempt to get more approval or more people to like you.

If you’re a bowler that others are looking up to, you have a responsibility. When you have any eyes on you at all (and I mean that in the least creepy way possible), there’s a good chance many of those views are out of admiration. That’s a big responsibility.

And it’s not a responsibility to be “enough” or “more” for them. It’s a responsibility to be authentically you. For them. Show them that being yourself is enough. Let your followers organically find you. There are no shortcuts to the top. You have to put in the work, continue to put yourself out there and be authentic.

Don’t try to circumvent the way to some sort of “star power” because you think you’re naturally not “good enough” yet. Be yourself, be vulnerable and have a strong message. People will want to follow you…for you.

You have an obligation to people who follow you. An obligation to be real, authentic, and true to yourself and to give them something that will make their lives better. Isn’t that the real point of you showing up there for them?

However you show up, you are telling those watching you that is okay. They are watching and modeling their behavior off of you.

So I want you to know that whoever it is that you are, when you’re authentic, it’s enough. Some will love you. Many will be inspired by you. And even if some don’t like you, don’t worry about them. Above everything, it’s just important to be completely and unapologetically YOU. The right people will be attracted to that and who you really are.

Stop trying to prove yourself to others. If you’re a bowler, focus on staying grounded in why you love your sport and who you were when you began. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. Don’t let those eyes watching you change you. Remember why you started bowling in the first place. And stop looking at your followers list because you’re totally missing the point.

The truth is that the better you get, the harder it is to stay grounded. I know that pressure is something you never asked for. I also know it feels like a weird weight on your shoulders when people are watching you. But when people are watching you, it’s even more important to decide how you are going to show up.

You are awesome, just as you are. Do awesome things. If people are naturally starting to follow and watch you, you are already leaving your mark. There’s no need to invent a fraudulent version of yourself for any reason.

Lead from the heart, and you will do great things.

When I drop the kids off at school, I always say, “What are the rules of the day?” They answer with, “Be Kind. And Be a Leader.” Is there anything else more important? I always go back to those rules, no matter what it is. I think those values are more important than pandering to what others think. And being a leader means showing the power of being yourself.