It is that time of year again, and last week was Junior Gold. As usual, I always follow as much as I can. And a lot of my Elite Youth Tour bowlers performed really well. A couple of them made the TV show too, which was cool to see. One of the winners, Karina Capron, from Nebraska, started bowling the Elite Youth Tour in 2017 when she was really little (the U12 division). It was a crazy eight-hour drive every time they came out, but that dedication to developing her skill really paid off.

In the U15 division, Bella Castillo, a really good two-handed bowler, won. She hasn’t bowled in the Elite Youth Tour, but last year she bowled next to me during the Women’s US Open in Rochester, New York. I think she was on the Junior Team USA developmental team. Through that, she got an invite to bowl at only 14. (She’s now 15). As can be expected, the first time at a major event like that, she really struggled.

The US Open put her up against professional bowlers—women who bowl for a living… on the hardest patterns on earth.

Bella was thrown into a totally different environment. Throughout the tournament, I could just tell that her spirit was being affected by this shift. She was struggling and confused – and, honestly, she felt how a lot of women bowling the US Open feel: frustrated. 

During the event, I took the time to have a little heart-to-heart with her. I told her that I knew what she was going through. I knew she was feeling how hard it was, but also reminded her that it’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, everyone would be a champion.

“Your first time bowling difficult patterns like that, and on a professional tour, you won’t just ace it. Your only experience has been as a youth bowler, and this new experience is just part of your growth. If you’re open to it. You do have to be open to it.”
 
And I said, “I know it’s hard to believe that now because it feels so bad when you’re really struggling and so confused about why or how things are happening the way they are. But because of these losses, you’re going to win in the future.

It’s hard to believe it. But, the best moments come from the hardest moments.”

I know how hard it is out there. I was learning my own lessons at that tournament, as we all are. That’s why I knew the wisdom I had to share with her was worth pulling her aside for that chat.

Every single tournament we don’t win, we’re learning. 

This year, Bella Castillo won Junior Gold.

Right away, I sent her a huge congratulations. Junior Gold is a hard tournament to win. A lot of things have to go your way.

I added, “Remember that horrible feeling at last year’s US Women’s Open? That led you here. As long as you’re open to receiving it during the hard times and growing through the pain, it’ll always lead you to places like this.”

In her reply to me, she acknowledged that last year helped her a lot.

In the Junior Gold press release, she said, “I worked on spares a lot before coming so I knew I had a chance to go in and make all my spares. I just went in there with my head open, just being confident in myself, hit the pocket, kept it controllable, and made my spares.”

Those are all lessons she learned at the Women’s US Open because that’s what you have to do there. Had she not been competing in the US Open, she may not have had that level of confidence going in to do all of that.

Bella was able to draw on that reserve of knowledge and experience, having had that opportunity last year to be exposed to that higher level of play. Those opportunities – and  conversations – helped her grow and win this year.

At the EYT before Junior Gold, I remind the EYT bowlers heading to Junior Gold to carry all of the lessons, and maintain a perspective going into bigger events like that. Have the mental grit to stay focused on what you can control and let go of any bad games or bad blocks. Learn from them, but also let go. Focus on how to use the knowledge, not on the losses themselves.

If I had approached Bella last year at the US Women’s Open and said, “I know this struggle hurts but what if I told you that you will win Junior Gold thanks in part to this struggle?” I bet her perspective would have shifted instantly.

And to you, dear reader, I hope you never forget there is magic in the losses.