Before I joined Team USA, I hadn’t really thought deeply about the unique individual contribution I made to a team. Sure, I knew that I contributed to the team as a skilled bowler, and I was a team player. But, what I mean here is that, in my early college bowling days, I hadn’t really considered things like my personality type and how each person’s uniqueness is part of their superpower on a team.

I’ve since realized that there is power in our individual personality and perspective, as it is a big part of what we bring to the table.

Through the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I learned that I’m an ENFJ. (Find out your personality type by taking this online test!) As it turns out, ENFJs are natural leaders and connectors. We empathize and feel deeply. We want those around us to feel valued. We are passionate communicators. And we thrive when motivating others toward a shared goal. Of course, ENFJs also have certain challenges. We can sometimes overextend ourselves sometimes, taking on too much while focused on helping others. We also desire harmony and avoid conflict, which isn’t always the best approach if an issue needs to be addressed. Because we feel deeply, we can also take things quite personally.

Understanding myself this way has also helped me begin to understand how our different perspectives help create balance – in the world, on a team, and in relationships. 

A great example is my 21 year marriage to my introvert husband. He’s the thoughtful, quiet anchor, while I’m the energetic, vocal one. It’s not that either of us is better. Rather, we each bring something essential to the relationship. These complementary dynamics create a stronger partnership. And the same applies in any team dynamic – on the lanes or in life.

Self-awareness is key though. Before we can fully accept and appreciate others, we need to understand ourselves.

Knowing your own motivations, behaviors, and how you communicate allows you to show up more authentically  – and navigate your differences with others. Basically, self-awareness creates a stronger foundation when collaborating with others.

When I started out on Team USA, I noticed that some of my teammates saw individual differences as obstacles rather than strengths. And working through those differences to create cohesion as a team took time. And my takeaway from that experience is that acceptance – of yourself and others – isn’t something that just comes naturally.

Like most things, self-awareness takes work.

And when a team is made up of individuals who are self-aware and accepting, it creates an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and appreciated. And that kind of team synergy is when magic happens.

When everyone is able to show us as their authentic selves, teams don’t just work well together. They thrive. They’re not just playing the game. They’re mastering it.

That level of synergy doesn’t happen overnight, but the effort is worth it. 

That’s why when I do workshops with bowling teams, I really emphasize self-awareness and understanding differences. Ultimately, an individual must understand their own strengths and weaknesses in order to explore how their strengths can complement and contribute to the team. I often get them started by having them look up their own Myers-Briggs personality type. And it’s fascinating to watch the “aha” moments that result like when someone realizes that the friction they were having with a teammate wasn’t really personal after all. It is just a matter of differences – often in the way they approach certain situations or communicate. 

When we understand ourselves and how to leverage our differences, it really becomes a superpower.

Differences should not create division in our lives or on our teams. Instead, they can be the source of great strength.

Teams that embrace not just individual strengths but also differences can also really perform when it matters most. They’re able to stay focused and handle setbacks with resilience.

I’m currently preparing for an upcoming team workshop, and I’m excited to help them see their differences as their strengths – and also something instrumental to their developing a powerful competitive edge.

Our differences create extraordinary possibilities.

And on the lanes or in life, the kind of team that embraces this is always going to be the type of team I want to be on. And what I always want to help others create.