2023 went by like a flash. When you reflect on your year at the end of December, it all seems like a blur. Or maybe that’s just me? Fortunately, my year is tracked in a sort of “blog-like” way. 

It’s time for another end-of-year reflection.

This is a selection of topics I wrote about this year based on this year’s most impactful moments as well as the posts that received the most replies and responses from you.

I love looking back on the year, and I’m very proud of having managed to document my life, and life learnings, in this way. Another 52 consecutive weeks.

I hope you enjoy my 2023 writing highlights. Maybe you missed a few that you can revisit now. And let me know your favorites.

So, without further ado, here’s a roundup of 2023’s top 20, in no particular order.

1. Baseball Eyes on Bowling
   
   I had the chance to send a couple of my EYT stars to a Major League Baseball White Sox game – to throw out the first pitch and present the game card. When I walked onto the field with Landin Jordan and Gianna Brandolino (and their families), I felt so many things. Pride. Excitement. Disbelief. The nonprofit I built brought an opportunity for us to send a few standout bowlers to throw out the first pitch in a major league baseball game. I mean, what!? For me, it was a bit of a “wow” moment – to have been able to create something so significant for the sport. For Junior Team USA members, Landin and Gianna, who got to be on the field at a Major League Baseball game, it was one of those life-defining moments. As kids, we all dream of being seen and acknowledged for our hard work and talent. So, when it actually happens, it’s a dream come true. Seeing Landin and Gianna on the field filled me up with so much pride – for them, for EYT, and for bowling. As special guests at an MLB game, they were not only having the spotlight shone on themselves, but they were also bringing bowling to a whole new audience. It felt like a celebration for bowling. To put bowling in the forefront of so many people’s minds.




2. That Chicago Glow
   
   It’s an important lesson in life to give ourselves the chance to look at something from a different angle – to really appreciate it. It’s so easy to forget to appreciate the city where you live. Most of the time, we’re so busy living life in the city we take the city itself for granted. And the city of Chicago often gets a bad rap. So, this was a nice reminder that sometimes we just aren’t seeing everything. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of a refreshed perspective.  Our night out on the BBQ Pontoon removed us from city life just enough to really reconnect with it. It reminded me that we need more fun nights like that, just soaking in and appreciating the beauty of our city. Intentional fun. It also felt like a kind of reset. I’m usually always on the move in the city. When you’re so busy on the move, you don’t really see what’s around you. Slowly floating out on the water was a chance to appreciate city life with refreshed eyes. Honestly, it almost felt like seeing the city for the first time. Being out on the water, we were all blown away by the city’s glow. It’s not something we give ourselves the opportunity to see every day. I found myself thinking, “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe we live here.”
   
   3. Dyer Dreamin’
   
   I’m certain that most professional bowlers or even very talented collegiate bowlers do not understand the power they hold. We don’t “have to” have those interactions. But when we do, showing that acknowledgement and appreciation for them – that a little bit of effort to interact really does go a long way. A couple weeks ago, I met a young girl, Madison, from my hometown of Dyer whose parents had driven her all the way to Grand Rapids to bowl the PWBA pro-am, and to watch me bowl. That meant about a 3 hour drive, each way. She bowls at the bowling center where I practiced as a youth bowler. Stardust Bowl III. Back in the day, I had bowled in a league with Madison’s dad. Just before the tournament, her mom, Melissa, reached out on Instagram and told me they would be attending the first days of that tournament. Their daughter was especially excited to see me bowl. When I saw Madison there on practice day, I made an effort to talk with her. She even helped me carry my equipment, and her mom took pictures of her helping me with my bowling balls. They returned for the first half of the day the next day, not missing a frame that I threw. Every time I turned around, she was there. The truth is that I (or any of us) never know when or where I’ll make an impact on someone.
   
   4. Hall of Fame Thanks
   
   What I didn’t know when I started out bowling decades ago, bowling would teach me everything I needed to know about life. In the beginning, I was just hanging out at the bowling center while my sister took to the lanes. In my HoF speech, I listed out some of the important lessons I’ve learned through bowling. I won’t get into all of the points (Watch my entire speech HERE!) And people always ask me what I want my legacy to be. My answer is this. To leave this sport better than I found it. Every month I’m inspired by my Elite Youth Tour bowlers, the non-profit I founded in 2012, that empowers young leaders to build strong communities and create positive social change through bowling. The EYT inspires young bowlers to “Leave Your Mark” on and Beyond the Lanes. Thank you to the EYT bowlers who show up each month. Bowling has taken me to over 30 countries. I’ve won a lot. I’ve lost a lot. But most importantly, in the end, I know that I was able to use bowling as a vehicle to do good and what an honor that has been. Thank You Bowling.
   
   5. Active Pursuit
   
   Last week, the father of someone I’ve coached for many years reached out to me to ask for my insights on the collegiate recruiting process. He mentioned that after visiting some campuses, they were concerned that the bowling coaches weren’t following up. Perhaps they lost interest, he thought. People assume that bowling coaches are exceptional recruiters. However, that is not the case. Their primary focus is running the team. Their job is to run an excellent collegiate bowling program. And to give you the information you need to make a good collegiate decision. With numerous bowlers to manage, they often do not follow up individually. In the midst of their season, managing around 30 bowlers, they just do not have the bandwidth to individually think about everyone interested in joining them the next year. But they do care. If you are lucky enough to put in some face time with the coach of a collegiate program, that’s usually when they will express interest – in person. After that, it’s up to you to follow up. Their job is not to pursue you. Collegiate coaches simply lack the time and overall capacity to repeatedly reach out to each prospective new bowler. It’s up to the individual to take the lead in the recruiting process. It’s essentially akin to how one needs to pursue any relationship. Be the pursuer.
   
   6. *Finding The Light
   
   I’ve always tried to live intentionally, but the truth is that when we do the same things every day and see the same people, it’s easy to take everyday life for granted as if it isn’t special. But we need to FIND the special. When we shift our perspective like this, it can make us take a new look at life. Even if you don’t have a lot, it’s the simple things. It comes down to this realization that just because we have something NOW doesn’t mean it is always going to be. When we leap forward and look at everything from that perspective, even the simplest things start to matter. Most of us have so many people and experiences in our lives that we can be grateful for. And gratitude is something we have to think about every day, not just during times of hardship and not just on Thanksgiving.
   
   7. *Front Seat Pivot
   
   At the very top of my list of priorities is family. It always has been. However, we often think we have priorities in complete focus until something else gives us pause and brings it into even more explicit focus. That is what I’m experiencing first-hand this week. And what is within my control at this moment? My appreciation for moments of family togetherness. What are we able to do now that we need to move a bit more slowly? What are we able to do when we slow down that we aren’t able to do when we are speeding along in our lives? Drive partway across the country as a family. We are taking the slow route to a family wedding this week. It’s not possible for Madden to fly (because of cabin pressure) with the head trauma he endured. So, we canceled our flights, and instead of taking a quick flight, we’ve chosen to turn the trip to the East Coast into a few-day-long family road trip. In total, we’ll all be in the car together for almost 15 hours – each way.
   
   8. A Lesson in Self-Belief
   
   It was the Tournament of Champions, made up of all PBA champions. However, even Jason Belmonte  will admit that he had a slow start as he began making his run through the 48 games. But the way he approached it – that’s what provides insight into the mind of a champion. Even when he was uncharacteristically low in the standings, the way that he thought about it isn’t how most bowlers would think about it. 17 guys made it onto television across several shows. While Belmo made the 17-line cut, he didn’t make the major show. He was seeded in the show before the final major show. To win, he had to run that final ladder too. His steady-minded run from 58th to #1 showed us all yet again why he is such a champion. It reminds me of something he always said when we were running clinics together. When we were talking about the mental game, he would say this: “In my mind, it’s not over until it’s mathematically over.” In terms of how scores are calculated, he will only stop believing when the math cannot possibly add up for him to rise up. And last weekend, when no one else would have believed that idea, he proved that possibilities remain alive until the very, very end. There’s a lesson in that for all of us.
   
   9. Human Interaction
   
   Think about the people that you see every day. The teller at the bank. The barista at the cafe. The server at the restaurant. How do you approach those interactions? Do you look them in the eyes? Do you ask them how their day is going? When I’m out at a restaurant, I’m super friendly and always conversing with the server – to a fault. Sometimes I think it makes John uncomfortable because, being in the restaurant industry, he doesn’t want me to distract them from their job. Also, he’s a big-time introvert. But I just talk to them like normal people, and I think they appreciate that. Most people look at somebody at the bank, at the library, wherever, as someone just being paid to do this one thing for them. A generic service worker rather than a human. All day long, we’re interacting with people on so many levels. What if we walked around with the view of acknowledging other people’s value in our lives while also knowing that maybe we’re providing value to them too? What if everyone is put in your life for a reason? What if you were supposed to meet every single person that you’ve come in contact with? The reason why is not always obvious when you first meet them, though. Maybe they are there to teach you something, or maybe you’re there to teach them something…
   
   10. The Taylor Swift Effect
   
   The concert was the night before EYT, so I even caught myself thinking about it at EYT the next day. Looking out at all the bowlers who had come into the bowling center for this event I have built and nurtured, I started thinking about how I want to create my version of the Taylor Swift effect through bowling. She inspired me to want to do even more to empower everyone attending those events. How can I have that level of impact? How can I make people feel even more empowered every time they leave? The underlying message of Taylor Swift and what she represents to people resonates with me. She’s not just putting on events. And she’s not just helping people feel personally empowered by showing them how much potential they have inside themselves.
   
   11. A Poetic Legacy: With Gratitude
   
   I’d fall asleep on any normal night flight home at 10:15 pm. Not Sunday night. I stayed wide awake while my family slept in the seats around me…  thinking about what a bright light our world lost when it lost Dr. Jerry Weems. As my tears kept falling with no tissue to catch them, I kept asking the flight attendant for some napkins..I felt so much sadness. The entire bowling community is mourning the loss of someone so special. So I allowed myself to feel all my feelings, and finally, the napkins to blot my streaming tears made their way to row 23. Dr. Weems was someone I admired. He was so smart, and he helped so many people. He seemed to know so much about so many things. He was always full of such honest, good advice. When he spoke, it felt poetic. I think it’s because he let the love inside him speak. When I’m deep in thought, trying to process these gone-too-soon deaths, I keep coming back to the same phrase. “What is it all for?” All the worrying we do. All the stress we feel. Life is way too short to be working it all away, putting off that vacation, and worrying about what so-and-so said about you. Live your life with no regrets and unapologetically. Eat the ice cream. Lift others up. Be wildly optimistic because there will be a day when none of it will matter. And what WILL matter are the moments – the experiences, the relationships you’ve forged, and the impact you had.
   
   12. From Tears to Titles
   
   Junior Gold is HARD TO WIN. 3,500 of this country’s best youth bowlers competed at Junior Gold last week. So many bowlers. Not so many winning spots. Only eight went home as “champions” after four days and 16 games (qualifying, then advancers round, then matchplay rounds). In the U18 division, against 588 other great girls, Gianna Brandolino found a way to win. It’s a pretty spectacular achievement for anyone, but this was also her first year in the U18 division. When I think of Gianna winning Junior Gold this year, I am so proud of her. Mainly because I got to see her journey. From my vantage point running EYT, I don’t see just the good part. As youth bowlers rise, I have been able to also witness all of the hard parts. Gianna started bowling with EYT in 2016. She was a cute little 9-year-old when she joined EYT, and I have very specific memories of going to check in with her to see how it was going. I remember one day in particular. She was so frustrated that she was in tears and confessed, “I don’t know what to do. This is so hard.” A lot of kids make the choice not to come back and not show up again after frustration and failure. Little Gianna had that choice. But champions like Gianna choose to stay. They continue to put themselves in hard situations with the intention of figuring it out. Gianna showed up early and stayed late. She put in the time. She submerged herself in her game. She made the very conscious decision to continually work on her game. And now she’s making her mark.
   
   13. Unintentionally Intentional
   
   I’ve been focused on my word for the year and reminding myself about it daily through my coffee. If you’ve been following me on social media, maybe you have noticed my unintentional whimsical latte art posts. My word for the year is SLOW. So when I make my coffee with my new fancy Breville espresso machine, before I pull the espresso shot, I pause for a moment to breathe it in. I take the time to inhale the fresh ground bean aroma. That extra couple of seconds has become a powerful part of my coffee-making routine. It is like a punctuation point in the experience that helps me enjoy the moment rather than rushing onto the next thing on my list that day. Every day, I’m excited to go through the entire process, from grinding the beans to pouring the frothed milk into the cup. I do love my new coffee moments. That was the intention behind getting the new Breville. I wanted to carve out those at-home coffee moments in my day. When you can create little changes like this in your routine, it can bring new life to your day.
   
   14. Committing to Growth
   
   Madden won his first EYT. He started EYT with no expectations back in September 2019. Even though he started bowling just to learn, there did come a point when Madden started wanting to compete. He’s competitive, after all, like me. Eventually, there were more and more moments when his scores frustrated him to tears. I remember thinking, okay. That’s my fault. Something needs to change. We said he was there to learn, but… we weren’t committed to the learning. There were things in his game that needed to get worked out, but we weren’t spending the time working it out. We had busy schedules after school and on weekends. I realized that was on me. After all, I have to enable him to get to the lanes to get that practice. So about eight months ago, I said we should start bowling more and learning more.  That’s the only way. If you want to be in contention, we must take it more seriously.  We both decided that we would put in the time and effort—no more excuses about being busy. We fully prioritized learning. It’s working. Before we committed to practice, he used to get trapped in the comparison struggle, watching other bowlers and their scores. Last weekend, he didn’t look at the other scores at all. And in the end, he bowled a great game to win it.
   
   15. Jumping In
   
   A few people commented that they were surprised that I bowled a major so soon after my knee surgery, saying that seemed sort of gutsy to do. Yet, to be honest, I hadn’t even questioned getting back into it. I knew that being back in competition was what I needed. You can work on your game during practice sessions, but you can’t mimic those moments of competition. Not only do I thrive on those moments, but I knew my game needed that competition, too. Even though I told myself I was going to go easy on myself and not beat myself up, I knew I just had to get back out on the lane – competing, not just practicing. The only way to stay sharp is to get back out there and compete. Wherever you are on your bowling journey, don’t let yourself get frustrated by the moments that you’re learning through the competitions, either. Dealing with your “misses” and taking away valuable information about how each game played out is all part of how the competitions are training you. It goes back to what I talk about over and over again. It’s all part of the process. The reality is that if you want to get sharp in competing, you have to compete.
   
   16. A Dream Come True
   
   When I answered, Melissa was barely able to get her introduction out before I began screaming with excitement into the phone. The call was from USBC President Melissa McDaniel, and I knew why she was calling. I had been waiting for this potential, life-changing call. I knew the voting ended December 30, 2022. And it would be a lie to say I wasn’t thinking about it. A lot. Every day, my dad asked me while we were on vacation in Mexico, “did you hear anything yet?” I assured him he’d be the first to know. I recently came across an article supporting the idea that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. In this study, they monitored someone’s brain as they died and saw which part of the brain was most active. It was your memory cortex, where your memories are stored. I felt like that part of my brain was activated when Melissa told me that I was going to be in the Hall of Fame. My entire career flashed before my eyes in short snippets. All of the moments flashed before my eyes in just seconds. Like a movie. My movie. My bowling journey, that started when I was 5 years old. To those early days when I cried because I couldn’t keep my ball on the lane. To that moment at age 12 when I decided I wanted to be one of the best bowlers in the world. To now.
   
   17. Layers of Memories
   
   This time of year isn’t just about gifts and getting ahead of to-do lists. With this holiday season looking different, I’ve been thinking about this lately. My mom and dad are staying with us. For the first time ever, they will be with us at our house every day through the holidays. The kids will also be off school for two weeks. It might feel like many people here in our place, but then we remind ourselves that this is a special season together that we will remember forever. We have a lot to be grateful for, and we’re especially thankful to have my dad here with us as he heals. So, what are the holidays really about when we peel back all of the layers of it? Moments together and making core memories. The other day, my dad asked me what day it was because he knew Hanukkah was coming up. I wasn’t specifically raised Jewish, but my father is Jewish. So he always made sure to share an awareness of his traditions with us. I have very detailed core memories of sitting at our kitchen counter growing up, lighting the menorah with my dad and my sister. That same, and now very old, menorah is one of the most cherished possessions in my house. It’s hard to put into words how special it is. When a candle is lit, and the wax melts onto the menorah, those layers stay there. The wax isn’t meant to be cleaned off. So, as the years go by, every time we light the candles, it adds layers and layers of wax – and memories.
   
   18. Kid Confident
   
   I’ve written here many times before about how I have always been very intentional about teaching my kids these kinds of values. I think having that perspective of “everything is figureoutable” is a really good way to live. And clearly, Jersey has heard me say it enough that she is repeating it aloud. A few weeks ago, shortly after the Taylor Swift concert, Jersey became interested in making bracelets. So, I got her a cool new bracelet maker that helps put beads together. It is a mechanical bracelet maker and is a bit complicated. However, I didn’t have time to show her how it worked that day. She disappeared into her room for a while the day she got it. Then, sometime later, she returned and said, “Mom, because I know that ‘everything is figureoutable,‘ I set up this bracelet maker already.” She literally said that. And I almost cried. This is what I preach all day, every day! If we give our kids the space to do things independently, they usually will be able to figure it out. I am so glad that I learned this as a mom, and I am so grateful for my kids learning those lessons, too, because it is making them into really strong, independent, and confident kids. When we are parents, we’re put in this position to guide our kids toward building that confidence. So many parents don’t treat their kids like the capable humans they are.
   
   19. How Real Growth Happens
   
   Real growth happens when you’re not the smartest one in the room. I feel our egos want us to be the best, smartest, and brightest in the room, but that’s not how we grow. This is not just age-based either. It can be experience-based or expertise-based. This is how growth everywhere in life works. The key is not to be afraid of situations where you know less than those around you. See those situations as opportunities rather than as a blow to your ego. Use those moments to learn from those who know more about XYZ than you do. Then,  when you get to a place where you’ve built up your own skills and knowledge in that area, it’s equally important to be okay with helping others become stronger in that area too. At EYT, I also promote this idea. The division levels are U12, U15, and U18. However, bowlers have a choice about when they move up to the next division. I remind parents about that too. When I see someone at the top of their division, I say they can stay and keep winning. Or they can move up a division and provide themselves with a challenge. When you’re always the best, you aren’t pushed. You’ll never know your true potential that way.
   
   20. Room to Shine
   
   On International Women’s Day, I went to a great event in a room full of high-vibe women. I love a chance to submerge myself with like-minded people. I always leave feeling so inspired. It happens every time I meet confident, successful people. Something inside me gets ignited, and it makes me want to do more. Have more impact. Seeing possibilities through others is very powerful. It shows us what is possible. When I look around at others who are successful, I never feel I’m competing against anyone else’s success. I prefer the mindset that we can all lift each other up. When you see someone doing a really good job at something or working hard and accomplishing something, it’s an opportunity to be inspired by them. And also to congratulate them. When you are thriving, that doesn’t compete with my ability to be successful too. There is enough space in this universe for us all to “win.”. I can let you know that I see you. I see your impact. I see your confidence. And it’s inspiring me. It’s kind of like we’re all on the same team.
   
   —
   
   And that’s my roundup of 2023! If you haven’t already reached out, I’d love to hear which of my 2023 updates resonated most with you. Thanks for being such an important part of my journey. Cheers to more uplifting, heart swelling stories in 2024.