Bowling is not a game of perfect.

When we learn so much about the game, we start to overthink it. We try too hard. We try to become perfect because we know too much.

It’s literally time to move on from the idea of perfection though if you want your game to really advance.

I was just talking to an extremely talented bowler from Nebraska, Crystal, who bowled the US Open and just won the NCAA Bowler of the Year. I’ve never met her or seen her bowl live but she had asked me if there is any advice that I can give her for when she is done with school and transitioning to becoming a professional bowler. I told her that one of my hardest things that I had to deal with when I was done with school was competing alone. When I was still in school, there was always someone behind me and someone to talk to and bounce off ideas. And I had a coach every collegiate tournament, every single frame for years. And when you’re in school, you’re really in learning mode. You’re just really focused on improving your game, being very conscious when you bowl, always trying to make it better. All of that is great but then when I graduated, shutting off all that analysis was hard.

I just remember, all of a sudden, having to learn how to think through my entire game myself 100% of the time, without someone behind me with whom to talk through each frame. And that heavy college focus on fundamental analysis carried through and became my first natural instinct when I started on my own. So I would throw a good shot, but in my mind I would know all the things I could have done to throw it better. So I would always be thinking, I can throw it better. Because in college that was part of the process then. After every shot, there’d be someone to talk to, to help me evaluate it. So in my mind, when I first started bowling on my own, I would never naturally accept any shot as “good enough.”

So I told Crystal that for me, one of the hardest parts of the transition to professional bowling, and to bowling for myself, was to shut that over-analysis off. I needed to realize that I didn’t have to be perfect to bowl successfully.

I had to realize that no one is out there winning by being perfect. No one.

I had to learn to be okay with just throwing a “good enough” shot.

Because I realized that seeking perfection actually blocks my progress.  

When we accept good shots as good enough, we are learning to look at them objectively rather than subjectively. When we throw a shot and react to it, that’s more emotion and subjectivity than logic. When we start overthinking and subjectively telling ourselves, I should have done better, I should have done this or that… all that starts a spiral that can actually deteriorate our game.

You just need to process the shot for its actual value, not what you think you could have done. Eliminate that over-analysis from your shot-making. Just acknowledge the shot and move on. The shot is usually good enough.

I know that that’s really hard to accept for most of us though and even a little uncomfortable.

So what does the next move look like after a good enough shot?

When you throw a good shot, you might see something that could have been better. You might throw a shot and execute what you wanted to. You hit on the lane where you wanted the ball to go. But, maybe it hooks too much. Maybe it goes heavy on the headpin and maybe it splits. When I was at the University of Nebraska, I found myself in many tournaments reacting to that and thinking, I can throw better. I can get it to the pocket. I was so focused on the fundamentals, because that’s what they are so great at teaching, that I’d think through all of all the things I could do next — maybe physically throwing it better, keeping my elbow in more, following through stronger or something. But in reality, as I’ve grown in my professional bowling career, I’ve learned that often all I really need to do is accept that shot for what it was — good enough — and then move on the lane. 

You could overthink all those other things you could do. Or you could just move on the lane.

Sometimes, it’s literally time to move on.

The oil is being displaced every single frame. So you can’t stay somewhere very long anyways. Even if you were lined up to strike, that exact alignment isn’t going to last either because the oil is always going away and moving. So you technically can’t ever reach perfect alignment from one frame to the next because of changing conditions. I suppose the “perfect alignment” is fluid. Maybe I will even move my eyes, my target on the lane. In the end, I’ll have a different angle on the lane so that the ball meets different oil and a different breakpoint. And every ball becomes a fresh chance rather than an overthinking reaction to the last one.

Most of the time, you really simply have to move on the lane, or change balls, not necessarily throw a closer to perfect shot. The shot before was good. In fact, it was good enough. And the next shot is just that, another shot. Not another shot at perfect. So just move on and take that shot.

It’s really simple when you think about it that way, and a great metaphor in a way too.

If you’re still not sure what is good enough, I think when you slow down and go inward, really pay attention to how you feel, you’ll know when a shot is good enough. It can be easier to get stuck in your head, overthinking instead of actually feeling though. I get it. It’s not like I’ve never been there. Reframing your thinking just takes practice. It’s part of the mental game.  

Another related approach is to shift your mindset to trust in the process. I really like a quote that I just discovered: “What is meant for you never misses you.”

I do believe that whatever is meant for us will find us — in our relationships, in our careers, in our sport… when we have the right mindset. And when you trust in that, you can kind of relax into that and let go of some of the control, including the need for perfection.  If you’re doing the work, it will be worth it but you also need to accept perfection is not the goal. When you try to control how things happen, that can almost be like you’re building a wall of resistance to the things that were naturally meant for you, and that would get to you if you weren’t trying so hard.

When you just relax and realize that whatever is meant to be is going to find you, things also happen with greater ease and grace on and off the lane. I really like to believe in that. It makes me feel more open and accepting to the ups and downs in my life and career as well.

I also read (and recommend) a mental game book called “Golf is Not a Game of Perfect.”  Reading that really solidified the idea of giving ourselves permission to be imperfect in our game. Good enough is enough.

As with so many things in our lives, it’s about making choices and choosing your mindset. So, have you made up your mind about perfection?