An Elite Youth Tour doesn’t go by where a young bowler doesn’t tell me they feel nervous. My response is usually the same. “That’s great! That means that what you’re doing means something to you!” They aren’t used to that feeling. The feelings of what if things don’t work out like they want them to? 

“Focus on the process,” I go on.

Nervousness and pressure are big feelings to manage. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling nervous.

When we’re experiencing something that is new or challenging, emotions can take over. It’s not about pushing them away. It’s all about managing them. Embrace them, acknowledge them and then mindfully manage them.

Managing emotions through focusing on what I can control has made all the difference.

I’ve known professional bowlers who claim they don’t feel any nerves. Ever. To me, it’s sad they can’t be honest with themselves and acknowledge everyone gets nervous and there’s actually NOTHING wrong with that. Also- they aren’t setting a good example for youth bowlers when they deny their emotions. When younger bowlers are bowling and they hear that the pros don’t feel nervous (when they clearly do feel nervous just as much of the time), they get the wrong impression — they think there’s something wrong with them for feeling nervous.

Emotions are a normal part of the experience.

It’s something that almost anyone who competes battles, even at my level and after years in the sport. It’s so easy to compete and look around and think, oh no, she just shot 260 and I’m only shooting 190. I’ve got to get it together!

So, what’s the answer?

Don’t try so hard. Just be.

FOCUS ON THE PROCESS. Don’t focus on the outcome. Don’t focus on the results. Just focus on what you can control.

I’ll say it again. Don’t TRY. JUST BE.

Believe me. I know… It’s easier said than done. 

When we flip into “trying” mode then our swings get tighter. Our shoulders seize up, and we find it challenging to hit our mark. When you are able to just “be” you set yourself up to succeed. Effortlessly. “Just being” means that you rely on all your hard work up until that point. You push “play.” You allow yourself to do what you’ve trained yourself to do.

If you try too hard, it’s easy to just spiral down a rabbit hole of pressure, making you more nervous and adding on even more pressure. You start panicking and trying different things…and everything gets worse, not better. If you worry about the competition, the expectations of others, you invite pressure.

If you don’t allow yourself to just BE and trust the process, the pressure could break you down.

When I’m standing up in the 10th frame of an important match and I need a strike to win, I focus on what I can control. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in things that you can’t control. What I do is stay in the present, with my focus on hitting my target. And that’s where anyone’s power is. You have the power of being present because you control the decisions you’re making in the moment and where your mind is. Where are you sliding? What are you hitting? What ball are you using? Focusing on these details will keep those judgy thoughts away.

Controlling the controllable. All that other stuff that’s out of your control is just distraction. And the truth is that it is all blocking you from fully being you.

So many people lose themselves to all that distraction. I’ll even admit I have struggled in tournaments because I was worried and became distracted. I was thinking about the past or thinking about the future… What did that person just bowl? Or I’ll compare. I only bowled this and they bowled that. They are doing “this”.. Should I do “that?” It’s a slippery slope when you turn your focus to things you can’t control.

When I need to return to the moment, I stop worrying and stop trying so hard. I trust the process. And I tap into that trust within myself. I just accept that I am bowling MY game. And then… I am able to just …. BE.

Slow down, and just be in the moment, in your own game and no one else’s. 

It doesn’t just apply to youth bowlers though. I really think that any time that you are competitive at a higher level in what you’re doing, it comes into play. So many times in those competitive moments, you look around, you compare yourself to other people’s scores, you look at the standings and you just worry about a whole bunch of stuff that you can’t control. You worry about the things that don’t matter. They don’t matter because you cannot control them.

Those tough competitive moments are there for you to learn though, and in them, you’ll learn as much about yourself as about your game. Persevering through it all will get you where you want to go. It’s the championship road. (and believe me when I say it’s not the “easy” road.)

You’re not alone, though. I’m here to support you on that journey.

PS. Speaking of getting and staying in “the zone…” How about Elite Youth Tour Champion Jillian Martin? On Tuesday night she became the youngest bowler to ever win a PWBA event. Her ability to bowl so well under pressure was admirable and we can all learn a lot from her performance. She stayed within herself, focusing on what SHE could control. She didn’t get wrapped up in making history, or what her opponent was doing. She was able to BE… all while inspiring so many people along the way.