You are what you do. Not what you say you’ll do. 

If you don’t take your word seriously, then no one will.

There have been so many times where I was disappointed with people that don’t follow through. I feel like if I were to put a ranking on emotions, I think disappointment would be really close to the top for me. To me, it feels like one of the worst feelings in life. You put trust in people, when they say they’ll do something, and they let you down.

If you are not fully committed to something, don’t say that you can or will do it. I’ve met and worked with a lot of people that do that though; they over promise and don’t prioritize it. And then they don’t get it done.

When I was younger, maybe in my mid-to-late twenties, I remember feeling a lot of disappointment because people just didn’t follow through. They didn’t keep their word. And I would lose respect for them. It was both sad and frustrating, but as I get older, I have also learned to surround myself with the kind of people I know I can count on.

It’s such an important part of life, saying what you mean, meaning what you say, doing what you say, to the best of your ability. It’s an easy thing to do too. It’s not complex. Yet it’s so powerful. Actually, I’d say your word is really one of your greatest powers.

That’s actually where the whole idea of follow through came from as a lesson to teach with my Beyond the Lanes program. It’s about showing up in all that you do and say, and being consistent. I know things happen and things come up sometimes, but really taking your words seriously and understanding the power in them is important…and how they actually affect other people. I have the highest level of respect for people who I can count on.

When you say that you’re going to do something and you actually do it, you’re prioritizing that person, showing them that they matter to you. I think that’s the quickest way to build a strong and long standing relationship with people because you’re also establishing a deeper connection through them trusting you to show up and follow through on your words. Trust is also the first thing that can be lost when you don’t keep your word. Yet another reason why the power of your word is so important.

It’s hard to get trust back once it’s lost.

When you show up with consistency, people trust you and they know what they’re going to get. And you’ll absolutely gain more valuable and deeper connections or relationships. My youth tour is an excellent example. I have a team of volunteers, so they’re not getting paid. They just love bowling. And the team I’ve created is really taking so much ownership that I’m always impressed by their commitment. They always show up and I can always count on them. Sometimes they have to drive hours to get to these tournaments, but they always show up. And I have to be able to count on them because if they don’t show up, I basically can’t run the tournament. I can’t do all the things. I can’t be the tournament director. I can’t also be out there talking to parents and answering questions. I can’t do all the things and then their job too. So if there isn’t that trust that they’re going to show up consistently, they can’t be part of the team. Fortunately, I have found some really amazing people. 

It’s so important to surround yourself with those kinds of people.

When it comes to keeping your word, it’s not just about other people though. It’s equally important to look inward to acknowledge how you’re keeping your word to yourself. Are you doing what you say you’re going to do? Are you following through in your own life with your own goals or are you blowing them off and then breaking that trust within yourself? And I think we all do that sometimes. So it’s good to check in with ourselves once in a while too, even if we are good at keeping our word with others…

Who hasn’t started the new year with a resolution that couldn’t be kept? We might start the new year saying we’re going to exercise every single day and we’re not going to eat sugar or overhaul our lives in one way or another. And then after two weeks, we don’t prioritize it anymore. You might not always look at it that way, but that’s breaking internal trust. It’s not taking your own word seriously. Maybe in the beginning it was unrealistic to set and we set ourselves up for failure. So to establish a better habit of consistency and trust with ourselves, we could instead say make the goal more manageable. Instead of saying, “I’m going to cut all sugar,” we could focus on something more manageable such as limiting desserts. Even little changes in the way you show up in your daily life and goal setting can help you feel better about keeping your word inside yourself.

I’ve found that when I put as much emphasis on my word to myself, and follow through with what I say I am going to do, or what my intention is for myself, I lead a happier, more fulfilling life. When you think about it, how much can you really accomplish if you aren’t taking your word seriously to yourself?

What was the last promise you made yourself, and how did you follow through on it? Did you keep your word?