When I became a mom, there were so, so many things I didn’t have a clue about. There’s no real “Guide to Being a Great Parent” out there. Well, there probably was but I still felt overwhelmed. I never even really babysat before I had kids.

I remember during my first pregnancy when we first saw Madden on the ultrasound. It’s always been so fascinating to me that love can literally give birth to even more love in the world. I was so emotional. And when we found out it was a boy, everybody was telling me I was definitely meant to be a mom to a boy. And it’s true that when I was growing up, I was more of a tomboy. I would roll around in the dirt and climb all the trees. I wasn’t interested in playing with dolls that much. Instead, I was more sporty and high energy, with a ton of energy. When people around me said that it put it in perspective for me that they were right, I was going to be a good “boy mom.” I was going to get out there and run around with him.

The fact is that there’s truly never been any bigger goal in my entire life, and you know how I am with goals so that really says a lot. I’ve done a lot of amazing things in my life before I decided to have a family but having a family was my everything goal. I’ve accomplished a lot and I’ve gotten to the top of my sport – but nothing meant more than becoming someone’s mom.

And a part of being the best mom I can be has been to teach my kids what they need for them to be empowered, for them to make their own difference in the world someday. Or, maybe even now. I’ve written a bit before, I think most kids don’t even have a clue about their power in the world. I want my kids to really realize theirs. As they continue to understand that power, as they grow, I know that they’ll continue to see a world of possibilities open up before them.  

And through it all, it really doesn’t matter what they want to pursue in school or as a career, as long as they are kind and grow into good humans, I’ll support them. I’ve always thought that if I could just raise children that are kind, they don’t need to be anything else because the world needs more nice people.

Since they were little I have instilled two rules in our house. A lot of times when I drop the kids off at school and they kiss me goodbye I say, “What are the rules of the day?” Then then answer with, “Be Kind. And Be a Leader.” 

Because is there really anything else more important in life? If something happens in my house and they start to bicker about something one of them did- I always go back to my rules. “Was that kind? Were you being a leader?” If you truly stick to those two rules in life then life will be more fulfilling. Happier. And, you will make more of a difference. I want to note that these rules shouldn’t apply just to kids. You- you reading this right now. It also applies to you, too. And me. Be Kind. Be a Leader.

Early on John and I decided that we would never force a sport on our kids. We would allow them opportunities to see what is out there and then allow them to gravitate to what moves them. As most of you know by now, my 10 year old son is obsessed with baseball. So much so that he wants to become a professional baseball player. (I’m talking, since he could walk and swing a bat in the first condo in Chicago he lived in. Every birthday I ask him what he wants to be when he grows up and there has never been another answer.)

He believes this is possible. He believes becoming a professional baseball player is actually something he can reach for and attain. If I have done anything as a mom it’s empower my children to know they can be or do ANYTHING they want to in life. Will it be easy? Nope. But is it possible? Certainly. I sometimes think about why Madden believes so much in his dreams. Then I remember I was a little girl from a small town who believed in hers. Small town girl, big dreams and then goes on to crush them on a global level? No wonder he believes he can, too. He knows someone who lived their dreams. He know about the journey to becoming the best in the world because I talk about how hard it was and how the path wasn’t just straight to the top. 

As much as it will be his commitment to his dreams that will help him through life, it is the kindness and sense of appreciation that I see in Madden that will also carry him to his goals. In fact, I think he’s already on track to be the world’s most gracious player. Sweet. Thoughtful. Empathetic. 

On the way home from every baseball practice, he goes out of his way to say thank you for driving him to baseball. Whether it’s me, his grandpa or anyone — he always thanks us for taking him to and from practice. He doesn’t take it for granted and assumes that because he’s the kid, it’s just something that happens.. He realizes it’s something that requires time and energy and that the person could have chosen other things but they chose him instead. So he’s aware and grateful of what they’re offering from their lives to benefit him. I am so proud of the fact that my children know and understand how important gratitude is.

It is so important in life to grow up not taking people for granted. Madden also seems to understand that he’s making the person feel appreciated, and that’s big. When people feel appreciated, they’ll continue to be there for you. He already acknowledges and expresses his gratitude to us daily for supporting him. I’m so happy he understands the importance. He’s very sensitive to others feelings that way and I love that about him. I also know it will get him far in life. It amazes me that a child can already have such awareness and appreciation for people. I am so proud.

Even our smallest actions like thanking for a ride can affect how other people feel. Some adults go through life not even fully understanding this. Sometimes my kids really make me just lose my breath, seeing their emotional maturity.

Parenting can be difficult but nothing has been more worthwhile.

What is something little you’ve done to show people around you they are appreciated?