At any given time, I have a pile of books in my room. They’re mainly personal development books. Like mental game books. There’s zero fiction books. The truth is, I don’t spend enough time reading. There are so many half finished books on those piles. I’ve always wished I had more time for those books but life gets in the way. In fact, when I see people posting about all the books they read, I’ve always thought, “Who are these people…. Reading for pleasure?” To me it was mind boggling.

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Then, a couple weeks ago, I did something quite out of character. I read an entire book, from start to finish – in 4 days. A thick one.

So, how’d that happen?

I’ve actually been finding myself influenced lately by Tik Tok. Sometimes at night, before I go to bed, I’ll just zone out on scrolling Tik Tok. I like that it’s not based on particular people you follow as much as the types of things you are following. It shows me things it thinks fit my interests. Tik Tok must have thought I read more than I do because it shows me a lot of influencers talking about books. Or maybe, it just knew I needed the nudge? Either way, I’ve been seeing a lot of women promoting books there. At first I was so confused… These women are usually showing a mound of thick books they read… IN A MONTH!?

I started to see some people mentioning summer reading lists. They would even sometimes show the first sentence of the book. One book kept coming up, recommended by multiple different people on different accounts.  The author was Cathleen Hoover. I didn’t know anything about her.

I took it as a sign. And I ordered it. But here’s what’s most surprising. It wasn’t non-fiction. It was fiction, something recommended as a great summer read. I’ve never really been compelled to buy fiction the way I was that book. I have always been very intentional about my time being filled with ways to get better. And I never saw fiction as worthwhile. Yet, something told me I wanted to get it, and that I wanted some summer reading that was different, something light and that would allow me to zone out a bit.

If a book doesn’t get me in the beginning I have a hard time committing to it. I’m not afraid to just stop reading it and admit that it’s not for me. So I was wondering how this was going to be for me…

When it arrived, I actually devoured it.

What surprised me most was not that I was actually reading fiction for once. What surprised me is that I read it in four days. FOUR DAYS!! It’s not that I’m not a fast reader – it’s just because of how distracted I become with my to-do list. I don’t prioritize the kinds of moments when you can lose time in a book. I associate that kind of reading with vacation time, sitting on the patio or by a pool. That’s not how I got through this book though. With this book, I found the in-between moments. I read it every night and every morning. In the evening, I would sit outside on my deck and allow myself enough time to get lost in the story. Then, in the morning, I’d give myself some moments to do the same. It wasn’t a ton of time each sitting, but it was just enough. The author is a great writer, and it was easy reading. I could get lost in the story again each time I picked up the book. And I found myself thinking about it when I wasn’t spending time reading it.

Maybe it was good timing, or a bit of serendipity –  but right around the time I caught the reading bug, it was Amazon Prime Day. And low behold, one item that kept coming up was a Kindle Paperweight. And I bought one. 

In the past, whenever anyone has recommended fiction books to me, I’ve always sort of dismissed it as not my thing. I don’t think that way anymore. I think I just hadn’t found the right book yet to introduce me to the experience. This book felt different. It showed me what it feels like to really escape into a story. Despite my intent to buy it as a light read, to turn off and zone out, it zoned me out in a different way than expected. In the best way! I zoned out of my world and into another one. It activated my imagination! I found myself really imagining how all of the characters and scenes looked. I could see pictures in my mind, and that was so fun. That’s part of what kept me reading. The book allowed me to devise my own creation in my mind.

My sister has always been a big reader. She’s always reading a book and until now, I could never really relate. Now I understand the worlds she was entering with each book and how recharging it is. Now I actually crave more moments like that.

I always looked at reading as being about a matter of time. But maybe it’s about creating space, not just in your schedule but in your mind. Maybe I’m finally creating that space in my mind to allow stories into it. It’s a space of putting pause on your own daily story to submerge yourself in someone else’s story. It’s a bit like watching a movie, which I also don’t do often. But this is a different way to do that at any moment when you pick up the book, even for a few minutes. You escape from your responsibilities for just a moment when you’re immersed in the story. The idea is that you need to make that time, not wait for it.  You need to push pause on your life so that you can enter the story for  those moments and recharge in it. When I read that book in four days, as much as it was a great story, I think that recharge feeling is a major part of what kept me reading. That feeling has me craving more books. 

I bought the Kindle to make the experience even more accessible. I like the feeling of holding a book and turning the pages but I want something light, that’s easy to carry with me. If I’m waiting at baseball practice or somewhere I can just read. It also means fewer books piling up, in case I don’t get pulled into one. I ended up getting a Kindle for Jersey too. We read together before we go to bed, and this may become something she likes to use for reading more books too.

Reading always used to feel like a sort of mundane, educational thing – the way I associated it with non-fiction only. Now, I’m actually really excited about reading more. It doesn’t need to “teach me” something to be useful. Fiction is sparking my mind in new ways while also being sort of meditative and restorative. All of those things are so worth my time. So it looks like I just added something new to my “spark list”!