The end of summer is shaping up to be very memorable.  I’m still riding the high of it all, but this week I’ve also had a moment to step back, reflect and see the bigger picture of all that happened. 

Looking back at the past few weeks, and this entire tour, something really stood out for me. I got back to that feeling of “finding a way.”

That’s also something that EJ and I said to each other a lot when we were bowling a few weeks ago. “Just make it happen.” It was more in a funny, matter-of-fact kind of way. When things weren’t as clear on the lanes, “Make it happen.” As we kept saying that, it brought back that comforting feeling. I knew that feeling well. I’d felt it so much in the past. That feeling of always knowing I have it in me to find a way.

I think having that perspective of “I’m going to make it happen, even when I’m unsure” is a really good way to live. Even when you’re confused, and you don’t really know which way to go, you can still have that perspective. You can tell yourself, “I’m going to find a way.”

It’s just really interesting what happens inside your brain. When you are in a tournament, and figuring it out, it is usually just you and your thoughts. No one else can see that. No one can feel how you feel. But so much of what happens in bowling, happens in your head. That can either be a really good place to be or it can be a really messy place to be. Luckily for me, I’ve fought through the mess already earlier in my career. Now it’s usually a really good place for me to be. I was reminded of that, and really felt that, in Houston with EJ even when there was a lot of pressure on me. Even when I only bowl part-time, that place inside my head has stayed the same. It is still in order. There were so many moments this season that just felt so familiar. Instead of letting the pressure get inside my head, instead of worrying, I was able to focus on the process and figure it out, step by step based on what was in front of me. I could execute my shots and stay in control of my mind. That is really the only thing that matters in the end. I can’t control the outcome. I can control how I figure out each step in front of me.

There was one particular shot during the tournament with EJ that could have gone a lot differently if I wasn’t so in control of the dialogue in my head. I was up, and it was the first ball of the next game. I had just gotten off of a not-so-great game. We moved lanes and started the next game. I did all the same things that I always do. My pre-shot routine. I set my feet. I looked at my target. But then I sort of felt handcuffed in that moment by my own thoughts. So I put my ball down.

EJ was right behind me, waiting for me to bowl and watching. I put my ball down, looked at him, and said, “I’m not ready – I’m having a conversation inside my head with myself. And that never turns out good.” He just laughed and thought that was funny. Because we’ve all been there. When we stand up there, it’s too easy to have these thoughts back and forth with your own self. Whether they’re good or bad,  it’s distracting. In that moment, when you’re standing on the approach, it’s never good to be having an internal conversation. It doesn’t even matter if they’re positive thoughts. If you’re having a conversation, you need to press reset. You really need to quiet your mind.

I recognized that my internal conversation was a distraction and I immediately pressed reset. I stopped the conversation, put down the ball, and restarted my pre-shot routine. 

As a competitor, those learned things on a high level don’t just go away. Even though I’m not out bowling on tour every single week, I can always tap into that. Earlier this year at the Queens tournament, I also remember how satisfying it felt being back there in my mind. It just felt good to be reminded that even if I don’t bowl as much, that ability to reset and find a way was still there. You don’t unlearn that kind of thing. You have the ability to bring it right back inside your head.

There were times early in my career where I didn’t put my ball down, when I didn’t yet understand the importance of the reset. There was one particular event in England when I didn’t put the ball down and reset when that was the best thing I could have done at that moment. My parents were in the stands watching, and I was on the approach. Something happened with the rack by the pins and I was just standing with my ball, waiting and waiting. They finally fixed it and then I went. But it broke my routine. At the time, I just thought, it’s fine, I know what I’m doing. And I threw a bad shot. Even my dad noticed that it was likely that break in routine that threw off my shot. He asked me, why didn’t you put down your ball and reset after that thing with the rack? My dad’s not a bowler but he recognized the power of the routine. I knew afterwards that I should have. It was the reason why I didn’t throw my best shot. 

The pre-shot routine kind of sinks you into the shot because you do the same thing every single time. Once you start it, you don’t even think about it. It’s just something automatic. It’s just a continuous movement. It quiets your mind and puts you in the right mindset to throw your best shot. If it gets broken in any way – if someone says something to me or if anything distracts or disturbs the flow – I know it’s time to put down the ball and reset.

I am so proud of my mental game during this past tour. I’ve still got it. I know how to reset when I need to, and I still have it in me to find a way. To bowl these matches with and against these really great bowlers and feel those feelings that I had felt in my past. I used to always find a way. I felt that a lot 10 year ago and it has felt really fulfilling to get back to that feeling.

This is a reminder to you, too. Even when the way isn’t clear, you can find that feeling, press reset at any moment and find a way.