I am always learning. I am always eager to learn things I don’t know. Sometimes I think it embarrasses my husband when I meet new people. I ask a lot of questions. Because is there a better way to learn?

I have always been willing to acknowledge that I don’t know everything. For everything that I don’t know, I realize there’s a way to learn it.

That’s my approach to life as much as my approach to bowling.

Early on, I recognized that I needed great coaches to help me get where I wanted to go. As self-driven as I have always been, I have always surrounded myself with those who could teach me what I needed to know. Being coachable by those around me has allowed me to steer my way to win at the highest levels in my sport. I’ve written before that during my first year at Nebraska that I had a lot to learn. I failed a lot before I started winning again. It was not “easy” growth, but I did become stronger and built even more grit in the process.

That’s part of the process. And I have always chosen the option that allows for growth even when it’s not easy.

It’s easy to settle. To be ok with being “just ok.” But I always encourage people to always be open to learning more, no matter where they are in their careers or their sport.

That’s also why I have never limited myself to one person’s perspective. Even now, I like to get many expert opinions.

In fact, I always tell young bowlers, or bowlers at any age or stage really, to do the same. If a coach tells you that they’re the only coach you need, they are not the coach for you.

I’ve had so many incredible coaches in my career from all over the world. I could have just stayed with any one of them. It would have felt comfortable. But that choice wouldn’t have allowed me to grow. Every coach offers a different perspective or a different style. With just one coach, I might have hit a ceiling. It’s like thinking about being on a team where everyone there is bringing something different. Similarly, every coach has different strengths. Embracing these differences is a good thing. Seeking multiple perspectives is a good thing. Drawing upon all of these differences can actually help you become stronger. (Note: I’m not saying listen to anyone who has advice for you. Vet them out, and find good resources.)

Unfortunately, I have seen some coaches feel their credibility is discounted when you choose not to just go to them exclusively. They want to appear to be the only coach with the knowledge you need. They even may seek to discredit alternate perspectives. I have a really hard time with that approach because there’s enough space for everyone’s perspective. You shouldn’t ever be limited to one person or one approach to something.

I also view discrediting other views as scarcity thinking. It is limiting other people’s potential out of a kind of insecurity. It is not wanting to accept that others also have something to offer.

I see seeking multiple perspectives as how you can empower yourself with more knowledge. 

I wish more people came from this space of abundance. We should be focused on trying to raise people up, rather than sometimes limiting them. There’s no need to get territorial about who has the right view. There’s a lot of expertise and knowledge to go around. It’s not limited to any one person or approach. It’s sad to see when a coach discredits another coach or perspective in an attempt to give themselves more credit. 

While I welcome different perspectives and styles, the person offering it must also be fundamentally aligned with me. 

Sometimes you just aren’t aligned. You recognize that you aren’t in that same space for the same reasons. Their motives may be different than yours. For example, anyone discrediting others is definitely not aligned to me.

That’s an important realization to have too. You’ll always find yourself facing people who are in the same space as you but who have alternate intentions. You can look at these situations as alignment check-ins.

In these situations, you can come back to this question, are we aligned?

When you are deciding whose perspective to consider, you can have respect for everyone while accepting that not everyone aligns with you.

I’m talking about coaches as well as in your life. Family, friends, work, or anywhere. This transcends bowling.

I have become confident in recognizing when there is and isn’t alignment.

In my career, I’ve had several alignment check-ins. Early in my career, I had the opportunity to partner in a new start-up venture. However, there were some red flags that made it apparent our styles of doing business and intentions were not in alignment. I reminded myself, as I always do, that who I interact with is a choice. I decided to get out.  

Whether it’s a coach, a teammate, a business partner or someone in your personal life, it’s worth checking your sense of alignment. While it is important to be open to multiple perspectives as a way to learn and grow, you also want to have the courage to identify misalignments. When you do, it empowers you, and you can only get stronger as a result. 

Staying in alignment while maintaining this attitude of abundance and growth has enriched my life on so many levels. I have met so many amazing people and made incredible connections through constantly growing in this sport.

I love the people I am connected to here. The bowling community continues to lift me up, just as I hope to continue to do the same for others.  

I have 4 more spots available for Mindset Reset Membership! I am limiting the number of bowlers who can get in each month because I strive to have an intimate group of bowlers who are really interested in strengthening their mental game.