Tournaments have started up again for the season. And, with that, there’s a lot of people showing up online to follow along with the tournaments. People are watching the live broadcasts on BowlTV, following the stats, checking social media updates following their favorite pros.

I love everyone’s enthusiasm watching from home but there’s one thing that breaks my heart every year. Ugh, the negativity. 

The complaining. The criticizing. The harsh, negative opinions. 

Bowlers are sometimes bowling’s worst enemies. And sometimes, it just breaks my heart.

The people who seem to not be watching for what went well…but to pick on what went wrong. What shots did someone miss? What mistakes did someone make?

Some people are there just waiting for others to fail.

There are people out there who seem to just sit there waiting for others to mess up so that they can just stomp on them. The people who love to hate, full of negative comments or views, that they are just waiting to thow shade at someone.

It’s so easy to sit behind a screen and spew negativity. What they don’t realize is that constantly being exposed to that is exhausting for us. And so frustrating. Over time when it happens again and again, when people bring up the bad rather than focusing on the good, it’s not only disempowering… it’s toxic.

I’m so over the negativity all around.

In fact, I’ve started saying I’m “wildly optimistic” to counteract it. Because in a nutshell- that’s me.

It’s how I choose to see the world and the people in it. It has sort of become my lens for looking at what’s going on around – on and off the lanes. One I wish more people would adopt. 

Could things be better? Most definitely. Could they be a LOT worse? Oh yeah.

Why can’t more people have a little bit of wild optimism?

Why all the nitpicking?

Why doesn’t everyone just look for the good while also helping others be better and do better?

On tour last week, people kept asking me what I thought about (insert negative online comment) and it led me to another phrase I kept saying. “Everyone’s just doing their best.” And I truly believe that they are. No matter what happens on the lanes, everyone is showing up and giving everything they can to this game. If everybody could just see that, and come from a supportive place of love and kindness, everybody would be better off. But instead, I see these people waiting to criticize others, rather than really saying anything helpful or encouraging.

For me, kindness and compassion is common sense, but yet it hasn’t been what I have been seeing around me. 

Every time I see someone else being stomped on with negative online comments, it also breaks my heart a little bit.

One of my bowling friends, Verity, posted last week about some of the comments she has been experiencing. Verity is an amazing bowler. Like, seriously good. She throws incredibly well and when you watch her, it’s impossible not to see how good she is. She bowls full-time but at Queen’s, she didn’t make the cut. One particular “internet troll” used it as an opportunity to throw some serious shade. She posted something about it on social media and included a comment that someone had written to her online.

The judgey fan wrote all about how he refuses to root for her anymore. He continued to cut down her game and list all the reasons for her struggles on tour. I’m sorry, what? Sounds like you’ve become an expert in something you literally know nothing about. Unless you’re shoeing up out there- let’s keep the judging level to a zero. Why don’t you focus that energy on lifting up your favorite pros. And realize they are human. And they are doing everything they can to figure it out. 

Choose to look at what’s going right.

My wild optimism is the lens I choose for framing the possibilities and the learning in every experience – even criticism. Rather than focusing on the negative.  

I really do feel like the world needs less toxic negativity…but also more kindness and more optimism.

Bowling is meant to be a sport that brings people together. So, why don’t we all do our part to keep this community positive, kind and supportive? . 

Choose love. And optimism.