When one door shuts, sometimes we just need to believe in the possibility that there is another way forward. 

I try to say yes to possibilities, big and small, almost every day of my life. My husband, John, is also on the same page with me about this. We have conversations all the time about how we can make the most intentional decisions. It’s not just how we choose to live for ourselves, but it is how we are raising our children – in an environment of believing in possibilities. We don’t want them to lead them towards having self-limiting instincts.

It’s easy to feel stuck when plans change, or a door closes. It’s easy to quit and give up. But neither of us thinks that is the right option. And we don’t believe in the impossible.

We don’t use that word in our house at all because anything is possible with the right commitment and attitude.

That doesn’t mean we think everything is easy. Some things do take work or time to figure out. But something definitely shouldn’t be impossible just because it seems complicated. 

When we were in with the ENT surgeon during Madden’s ICU stay (line drive baseball to the forehead), we let the doctor know that we had a flight planned for the next week. The doctor’s response: “No flying. His sinus bones need to heal, and the pressure that happens when you fly could affect his brain.”

It was John who first jumped in with the option to drive to Rhode Island last week when we couldn’t fly anymore.

When John and I make decisions, we don’t choose the easy option. We choose the intentional option – that leaves no room for regrets. This might involve problem-solving and putting in the work to find new possibilities. And often, it means dismissing the logical side of our brain that chimes in, calculating for us how hard something is going to be.

We choose instead to follow our heart when it tells us something will be so worth all the effort.

And the long drive to Rhode Island last week was so worth it – and long as in, like, 16 hours long.

We have absolutely no regrets. It was so important that both kids could go and experience time with John’s cousin’s kids. That small, intimate wedding with John’s extended family was such a nice break from a relatively chaotic few weeks. John’s family also really appreciated that we made that effort to be there to experience that wedding with them.

John’s cousin Bryan, who was the one getting married, had rented a big house for everyone right on the Atlantic Ocean in Mystic, Connecticut. It’s not every day we get to see the ocean, so the kids loved every minute of being able to get out in that water. Jersey loved boogie boarding, and we even caught a crab! The wedding itself took place in Rhode Island, which was right next to Taylor Swift’s house. 

Intuition told us that we didn’t want any of us to miss out on the wedding and that time with John’s family. So we embraced the hard choice, the pivot that required the long drive both ways – and it all worked out. On the way, John drove until 4 a.m. one day. On the way back the first night, John drove from 9 p.m. until 6 a.m. the following day. We could have left earlier, but there was a family dinner planned, and we wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. That also meant we were there with them for three whole days.

That seaside wedding getaway and time together with extended family felt especially nourishing. We enjoyed time in the car together, 5 a.m. hotel check-ins, and all the things in between.

When you’re faced with roadblocks, there is still a way. We found a way to have a great, full family weekend on the coast without flying there.

Life is always going to have its time-out moments when we have to switch things up from how we normally do things. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Being forced to slow down could be thought of as uncomfortable…but flipping your perspective also forces you to live more intentionally. And I think having that perspective and making intentional decisions to “figure it out” and find the way forward is a really good way to live.

That has been our family approach right now, every time we’re faced with a need to pivot.