Staying grounded, to me, means never forgetting where you came from. Growing up in Dyer, Indiana, I learned early on that nothing was handed to me. Every single accomplishment I’ve achieved has been a result of hard work, determination, and a willingness to keep showing up—even when things got tough.

Yes, I had the support of my parents, which was crucial for getting to the next level, but they couldn’t bowl those games for me. They couldn’t carry me through the heartbreaks or the ebbs and flows of competition. What kept me grounded was remembering that little girl who started bowling at five years old, throwing gutter after gutter. She didn’t walk away when it got hard. Instead, she figured out how to keep her ball on the lane.

That’s staying grounded—showing up, even when it feels impossible, and finding solutions instead of avoiding challenges.

Navigating the Hard Moments

It wasn’t always easy to hold onto that perspective, especially during college. That period was particularly tough for me because it felt like everyone around me had something to say about who I was. I was misunderstood, and I took that misunderstanding personally. At the time, I thought it meant there was something wrong with me.

Looking back now, I see it clearly: it wasn’t about me. It had everything to do with other people’s insecurities. But when you’re in the moment, it’s hard to separate their opinions from your self-worth. I remember calling home crying, trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

I went through a range of emotions, but I was fortunate to have a supportive boyfriend at the time—who is now my husband—remind me of who I really was. He helped me see that there was nothing wrong with me. He gave me the confidence to embrace myself, flaws and all.

Through that experience, I learned an invaluable lesson: if you show up authentically—100 percent of the time—and people have a problem with that, it’s not your problem. It’s theirs.

Turning Lessons Into Purpose

Now, as a parent and a coach, I’m intentional about passing these lessons along to others. In our house, we live by two rules: be kind and be a leader. These rules aren’t just for our kids; they’re guiding principles for how we approach life.

I also share this message with the youth bowlers and college athletes I work with. I tell them that being authentic is always the answer. No matter what happens, if you stay true to yourself, you’ll find your way.

This lesson hits home for me right now as I watch my daughter navigate her own challenges. She’s in fifth grade and dealing with some not-so-nice girls at school. Her stories feel all too familiar—they echo the experiences I had when I was her age.

I use these moments as opportunities to teach her some of the same lessons I had to learn. First, I tell her that when people aren’t nice to you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what they’re dealing with. Second, I remind her to never dim her shine for anyone.

She’s also learning volleyball, and as a natural athlete, some things come easier to her than they might for others. One of her teammates accused her of “trying to be better than everyone else.” I told her exactly what I’ve told myself for years: you should always try to be the best you can be, and you should be proud of what you achieve. Don’t ever apologize for shining brightly.

The Role of Gratitude

Another anchor in staying grounded for me has been gratitude. It’s easy to get caught up in striving for the next goal, the next achievement, or the next win. But gratitude shifts your focus back to the present moment and all the good things that brought you here.

I’m grateful for every step of my journey—for the hard lessons I’ve learned from losing, for the moments of heartbreak that tested my resilience, and for the wins that reminded me what’s possible when you persevere. Gratitude reminds me to appreciate how far I’ve come, the people who’ve supported me along the way, and the person I’ve become because of it all.

Staying grounded doesn’t mean ignoring growth or denying success. It means keeping a clear sense of who you are, no matter how far you climb.

The Champion’s Secret

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as both an athlete and a coach, it’s this: being you and being authentic is always the answer.

When you stay true to yourself, you have the clarity and confidence to navigate life’s challenges. You don’t need to conform to other people’s expectations or dim your light to make them feel comfortable. That’s their journey to figure out—not yours.

I often think about that little girl who started bowling at five years old, struggling to keep her ball on the lane. She didn’t quit when things got hard. She figured it out. That’s the heart of what staying grounded means to me: showing up, embracing who you are, and finding a way forward, no matter what.

That’s the champion’s secret.