I remember being part of elite groups of athletes in college—spaces filled with incredible talent, discipline, and drive. You’d think it would be the most inspiring environment in the world. And in many ways, it was. But I also noticed something disheartening: when someone succeeded, the reaction wasn’t always celebration. More often, it was comparison.

Some athletes minimized others’ wins, dismissed their accomplishments, or looked for flaws instead of giving credit. Success seemed to spark jealousy more than admiration.

That’s when I realized I looked at things differently. Where others felt threatened, I felt inspired. Where some tore others down, my instinct was to build them up in my mind. I’d catch myself thinking: “Wow, good for them. I wonder how they did it. What do I need to do to get to that level?”

That shift—choosing admiration over comparison—became one of my greatest competitive advantages.

Why Comparison Drains Us

Psychologists call it social comparison theory. Humans naturally measure themselves against others—it’s how we know if we’re improving. But there’s a catch. Research shows that “upward comparison” (looking at someone ahead of us) can either fuel us or drain us. The difference? Mindset.

If you see someone else’s success as proof of what’s possible, it inspires growth. But if you see their success as evidence that you’re behind, it steals your joy.

I chose to let admiration sharpen me.

Staying in My Lane

Jealousy never moves you forward. It’s quicksand—the more you feed it, the more it drags you down. I knew if I stayed in that headspace, I’d never grow into the athlete—or the person—I wanted to become.

So I stayed in my lane. I reminded myself: there’s enough room for all of us to succeed. Tearing someone down doesn’t raise you higher; it just makes the whole field weaker.

Competition Without Comparison

Here’s how I see it now: healthy competition sharpens you. It pushes you to dig deeper, refine your craft, and find your edge. Comparison, on the other hand, shrinks you. It makes you question your worth instead of building your capacity.

That’s why I live by this: admire? Always. Compare? Never.

Because I don’t have what others have. They don’t have what I have. We’re different stories, different strengths, different timelines. Why measure them against each other?

My Mantra

At the end of the day, I believe in lifting others up because it empowers everyone. When we celebrate wins—ours or theirs—we multiply confidence instead of draining it.

If I had to put words to the mindset that keeps me grounded, it would be this:

👉 Stick with those who say your name in rooms of important people.
👉 Be the girl who straightens another woman’s crown without telling the world it was crooked.

That’s where real power is. Not in comparison, but in celebration. Not in tearing down, but in lifting up.

Because the crown shines brighter when we all rise together.