Madden won his first EYT last weekend.

And what are the chances that he would win the one weekend we were ALL there to watch? My dad happened to attend last weekend. He’s not always there. AND John’s dad was even there – all the way from New Jersey! So, John and I, along with Jersey and both grandpas were there to congratulate him. That made his first EYT win extra EXTRA special.

Madden started EYT with no expectations back in September of 2019. We agreed that he was just there to learn. Even though he started bowling when he could walk, he never bowled in a league like most kids. 

When he started competing, I’ll admit I threw him into the deep end with EYT’s harder patterns. His first competitions were EYT. On sport shots! He didn’t have the benefit of starting with a league on a house shot. Yet, from the beginning, he managed his expectations well and really didn’t feel any disappointment at first when he wasn’t winning.

For a lot of kids there, bowling is their number one thing. For Madden, that was never the case. Baseball has always been his number one sport. So, in the beginning, he was continuing with bowling to learn more than anything. He has always had his biggest dreams and goals attached to baseball. But we have loved that he has been able to develop himself and grow simultaneously through the sport of bowling.

We’re really grateful his baseball academy has allowed him the freedom to explore a love for both sports. Some academies are really cutthroat and require you to spend all your available time with just baseball. However, his academy supports kids playing other sports. They realize you are going to gain something different through different sports. 

Even though he started bowling just to learn, there did come a point when Madden started wanting to compete. He’s competitive, after all, like me. Eventually, there were more and more moments when his scores frustrated him to tears. I remember thinking, okay. That’s my fault. Something needs to change.

We said he was there to learn, but… we weren’t really committed to the learning. There were things in his game that needed to get worked out, but we weren’t really spending the time working it out. We had busy schedules after school and on weekends. I realized that was on me. After all, I have to enable him to get to the lanes to get that practice.

So about eight months ago, I said we need to start bowling more and learning more.  That’s the only way. If you want to really be in contention, we have to take it more seriously.  We both made up our minds that we were going to put in the time and effort.

At first, it was frustrating for him. He had a lot to learn. But I reminded him that he cannot expect to know everything, but we could put in the work together. He could ask me questions and ask for help. He could take notes on the losses and learn from them. I reminded him that if he’s going to really commit to learning, that’s how learning works. It’s not about focusing on the results. It’s staying committed and embracing the process.

For the past eight months, we have really stayed committed to his practice. Together, we have stood by the choice to put in the work. We show up to the lanes together every week. Every Tuesday after school is now practice time. And we sometimes add in Mondays. No more excuses about being busy.

We have fully prioritized learning.

Clearly, it’s working. He’s getting better every month.

Before we committed to practice, he used to get trapped in the comparison struggle, watching other bowlers and their scores. Last weekend, he didn’t look at the other scores at all. I was actually in awe of how even-keeled his emotional state was. Even when he missed a ton of spares, he stayed focused and figured out the problem. He didn’t go through that rollercoaster of emotions you see with so many competitors. I didn’t observe any emotional highs or lows. He was steady the entire time. He didn’t even get overly excited until the very end. It made me so proud to see how much he has really grown as a competitor.

And in the end, he played a really great game to win it. The semi-final game was rough, but he made it through to the finals. He bowled a very solid 180 to win on a very hard pattern!

Overall, besides obviously having many proud-mom moments, the weekend really made me appreciate the fact that Madden is learning you can be great at more than one thing. One thing doesn’t have to be the only thing that defines him. He gets to make the choice and write his own narrative.

You don’t have to put all of your eggs in one basket.

I personally put all of my eggs in one basket with my bowling, and that was my choice. I also wouldn’t have changed anything. But…that doesn’t mean it is the only way. Both ways are okay.

I love that Madden is thriving as a baseball player and a youth bowler. This has enabled him to have his baseball friends while also having bowling friends from all over the country. He’s able to compete as a team in baseball and as an individual in bowling. That is a great balance for him to have in his life.

What baskets are you putting your “eggs” into?