My eyes were still swollen from all of the tears when I opened them this morning.

Bowling has lost some really good people this week.

On Sunday, as I left the bowling center after finishing 3rd at the Luci Doubles, I received a text with some very sad news. Any emotion I was feeling from finishing 3rd was instantaneously flooded over with grief and  sadness.

On any normal night flight home at 10:15 pm, I’d fall right asleep. Not Sunday night. I stayed wide awake while my family slept in the seats around me…  thinking about what a bright light our world lost when it lost Dr. Jerry Weems.

As my tears kept falling with no tissue to catch them, I kept asking the flight attendant for some napkins. She kept forgetting them.

My emotions were so mixed.

I felt so grateful to have known Jerry. Bowling brings you the best people, and I will never forget each one of our encounters. Because he was unforgettable. He had this way of making anyone he was talking to feel like the most important person in the room. When he wrote messages, he always ended his messages with “gratitude” because he always wanted whomever he was speaking to to know that he valued you – and that he was grateful for you. 

As I sat on the plane I also felt madness –  that my friend, a mentor and someone so full of love and kindness, was no longer here to brighten the lives of others. It wasn’t fair that his family now had to live without him.  And I felt like I had so much more to learn from him.

I felt so much sadness. For the entire bowling community mourning the loss of someone so special. So I allowed myself to feel all of my feelings, and finally, the napkins to blot my streaming tears made their way to row 23.

Dr. Weems was someone I admired. He was so smart, and he helped so many people. He seemed to know so much about so many things. He was always full of such honest, good advice. He was someone I regularly trusted and leaned on as a mentor. I was constantly texting him for his opinion on this or that – and I feel like he ALWAYS knew just what to say. His advice was always spot on.

He was also on my Elite Youth Tour Board of Directors, where he led with his heart. He had so much experience being on boards that he always had such great insight to offer.

As a reader, you may recall when talking about the mental game, I sometimes quoted my psychologist friend. That was him. He was always willing to offer insightful quotes for this Beyond the Lanes blog. As a psychologist, he had a way of teaching by telling stories.

When he spoke, it felt poetic. I think it’s because he let the love inside him speak. Dr. Jaye was certainly one of a kind. I will always hold this text message he sent the night of my USBC induction so close to my heart.

I will always hold the advice he gave me close to my heart. And a couple days earlier, we had been texting about a new project I was excited to be working on with him. 

I always felt we were cut from the same cloth. So many things about Dr. Jaye reminded me of myself. He loved to help others. He led from his heart. He always had a smile and the time for you. We were kindred spirits.

And he touched everybody’s life the way he touched mine. He just had this ability to impact people with such positivity and love. 

Monday morning and this morning, I kept waking up wishing it wasn’t true. Thinking it must be a bad dream.

I’ll find myself sitting on my couch in tears and disbelief, unable to comprehend that I won’t ever see or speak to him again. 

My heart has been hurting deeply, and it comes in waves. Today when I was crying, Jersey was next to me. I told her, “You know. I’m trying to focus on the fact that I’m honoring the hurt I feel. Because, to feel such a deep hurt, it means the love ran deep.”

What I do know is that we can find strength in what Dr. Jaye gave us – let it inspire how we go forward.

Leading with kindness. Loving without boundaries. Having patience and time for people.

I know his legacy will always live within me and will guide me throughout my entire lifetime. And, I know it will also live within his son, Jos. I hope Jos and Jerry’s wife, Sharon, realizes how much love the bowling community has for them. 

Monday was also the Celebration of life for Charlene Harmon. 

Charlene Harmon, a friend, and proprietor from Florida, lost her battle with cancer. She was only 47, but in her 47 years, she managed to infect so many people with her contagious optimism. Her smile seriously lit up a room. I just saw her at the end of 2022, and you would have never known she was sick. She was too busy planning an epic surprise 50th birthday party for our friend, John Janawicz. Because that’s what she did. She gave, and gave, and gave. I think in some ways that surprise party she planned was also a celebration of her life. Because all her favorite people came together one night, and we celebrated life.

It’s one thing to live a really good life and then die at 80, living the life you should have lived, and impacting the people you’re supposed to impact. But when the universe takes people that are so young, and so great – it just really makes you think. 

When I’m deep in thought, trying to process these gone-too-soon deaths, I keep coming back to the same phrase. “What is it all for?” All the worrying we do. All the stress we feel. All the work that consumes us. What are we actually doing with our lives? How are we living it?

Dr. Weems and Charlene are a reminder that life is way too short to be working it all away, putting off that vacation, and worrying about what so-and-so said about you.

Live your life. With no regrets and unapologetically. Eat the ice cream. Lift others up. Be wildly optimistic.

Because there will be a day when none of it will matter. And, what WILL matter will be the moments – the experiences, the relationships you’ve forged and the impact you had.

And the love that you were able to spread throughout your life and onto others.

Just like Dr. Jaye and Charlene did.